Hi, I'm new here, too. Seems like a good place to start, so here's my story.

I was raised by parents who were largely agnostic Christians. Both were raised by churchgoing families and became disillusioned with it in their youth, but never went so far as to declare themselves atheist. They made a brief, half-hearted attempt to bring me up as a Christian, but gave up on it pretty quickly, and they never made any attempt with my younger brother. We still celebrated holidays like Christmas and Easter, but our household was largely a secular one.

Still, I grew up in Oklahoma. I don't know how many of you have lived in the Bible Belt, but Christianity is an inescapably pervasive element of life there. Almost everyone goes to church, and most just assume that you do, too. Growing up agnostic in an environment like that was confusing, to say the least. My family didn't participate in any form of worship, but I absorbed ideas like God, the Devil, Heaven and Hell and Original Sin via cultural osmosis. And I accepted them as real, after a fashion, because everyone else did as well.

I didn't start to question this until the death of one of my uncles when I was about 9. He was my favorite member of my extended family, never to busy to visit and hang out with his nieces and nephews when we were visiting. He was only 25 years old, and had just gotten married 6 months before. And he even worked for his church. I just couldn't make sense of it. Of all the people in the world, why would God allow him to die? Now I know it's because he was born with a bad heart and smoked in spite of it, but at the time it made no sense. It was the first tangible, undeniable proof that I had come across against there being a guiding intelligence making sure everything turned out all right.

As I grew older and more aware of the world, it became more and more clear to me that there was no evidence to support the idea of there being an all-knowing, all-powerful, all-loving God, and ample evidence against it. By that point, I had found a circle of friends who were either very open-minded, lapsed Christians, or atheists themselves, and that helped me gain confidence in my understanding. The more I learned, the clearer things became, and I finally left the vague cloud of fearing God and Hell behind, and my life is better for it. Living in the Bible Belt as an atheist is still challenging at times, but I know I'm not alone, and that I'm not the only one who doesn't think the state should become Gilead from The Handmaid's Tale, and I'm sure enough of myself to handle it.

New here and first post.

I grew up with one side of my family as strong catholic and the other, over the top Baptist. I spent most of my childhood going to a private religious school. After a while I just saw it all as totally unrealistic. I can remember being about 10ish years old sitting and listing to the story or Jonah and the whale. I asked my mother how he lived in the belly of the whale that long and the best I got was "God takes care of all of his people". Even as a kid, all I could think was "That's retarded."
It didn't add up then and even less adds up now.

When I registered here I ticked "always atheist" which is close enough to the truth to be accurate. When I was six I asked my parents for a copy of the Bible (the one I'd seen at school was bright, colourful and had illustrations in that I really liked). I probably read the first dozen or so pages and lost interest as it didn't have any illustrations in it. I believed in God because I was told he existed and that was enough. Fortunately for me, my parents didn't show any interest in that part of my life, one way or the other, and by the time I was in Secondary school that Bible was propping up my small snooker table and that's the last place I remember seeing it.

Religious Education was compulsory up until the age of 14 but I asked my parents to write me a letter, so I could opt out of it for my GCSE years (I claimed I wanted to focus on more important subjects). At that time, I assumed everyone identified with a religion, even if they didn't actively practice it. I didn't know there was such a thing as an atheist. As a former boy scout, if asked what my religion was I would say "Christian". I didn't know any better but then I also didn't know much about Christianity. I didn't believe in God either.

Until perhaps the last 5/6 years religion has played no part in my life whatsoever. In England it appears there is a stigma attached to being a Christian if you're young (if someone in their 20's told me they were a Christian I would assume childhood indoctrination and feel sorry for them) but while I grew up around Hindu and Sikh communities, I didn't see my friends as religious as they never spoke about it. Recently, perhaps because I read more than I used to, have developed critical thinking skills through work and find myself disgusted by so much that the ultra-devout preach, I can no longer ignore religion the way I did for 20 years.

I am an atheist because not only do I reject the God claim, due to the burden of proof having never been met (to the best of my knowledge), I want to see an end to God and/or religion being used to justify behaviour that should be morally unacceptable in a supposedly modern and enlightened society. I openly admit to finding the vast majority of God claims laughable, but I worry that so many people but faith before fact and are so comfortable to ignore reason in favour of dogma. I don't know what I can do about it alone, other than address the ridiculous, ignorant and offensive statements made on social media with either a well-sourced fact to refute it or a request for evidence to support any claim, but I do know that Religion seems opposed to freedom, human rights and respect for anyone but those who are on-board already. I don't believe dialogue works with those who are so entrenched in their beliefs that they would choose to ignore facts that disprove what they believe, but I do believe that truth is more important than what we want to believe. Atheism isn't truth (it's merely a rejection of an unproven claim) but it's the start of a path that is rich in truth. It's our default position, it's what we are when we're born and should form the basis of greater understanding about a great many things, not to mention adopting a humanist approach to other people, even those we disagree with.

I'm not "proud" to be an atheist, I'm just glad I am one.

I grew up around Southern Baptist grandparents on my dads side of the family and Methodist on my mother’s side of the family. My dads parents seemed to be the only consistent churchgoers in the family (that I knew of). My parents did take my brother and I to church somewhat consistently the years prior to my parents getting a divorce. I went to numerous church camps. There was always pressure to say a salvation prayer. I always did this. It was very confusing. I got baptized many times, because I kept thinking that I apparently didn’t get saved because I never felt the change everyone around me was describing. I also “re-dedicated” my life many times at these camps. The last time I went to a church camp was around 6th or 7th grade. I got into a scuff with the pastor’s son. He spit in my face. I spit back. I was banned from coming to the camp with this church group again. I had a typical teenage experience, except I wasn't really into sports and I dabbled a little more than most in drinking and drugs.
My brother joined the Marine Corps. I was impressed when I went to San Diego to watch him graduate from boot camp. I joined also. I went to boot camp on October 13th, 1998. My job after boot camp was MOS (Military Occupational Service) 7051 Crash Fire Rescue. While at the fire Academy in San Angelo Texas, I was arrested and got a “page 11 entry” for underage drinking. This was a shameful experience, as my mother was on her way to visit the very day I got into trouble. After the fire academy, I was shipped to Okinawa Japan and assigned to MCAS Futenma. This was an exciting experience; to be in a foreign country with new people and lots to explore. It was a brotherhood. Crash Crew did everything together. Most of us got our diving certifications, but rarely used them because we didn’t have a vehicle or the gear to go diving. We mainly drank. We would have several days off at a time, as we worked shift work. When we weren’t at the Crash barn working, we were drinking. We would start first thing in the morning and drink till late at night. One night, while out drinking, I broke my ankle. This kept me from going to Thailand on an upcoming deployment. One morning, after a night of drinking, I saw Jason Reardon sitting at his post in the barracks. He was on fire watch duty. A guy named Achilles Patrick was talking to him about the Bible. Jason was arguing that the Bible was “just a book written by men.” He seemed to suggest there was no God. I thought he was crazy. I had never heard anyone say this. Achilles invited me to Maranatha Baptist Church (Independent Fundamental). I agreed to go. I knew I needed a change. My drinking was out of control. I went, fell under the conviction of the Holy Spirit and repeated a prayer after someone (year 2000). I soon got baptized. I quit drinking, smoking, chewing tobacco and cursing. I threw away my large collection of Punk Rock music and started listening to hymns only. I was so thankful that my sins were gone. The blood had atoned for my sins. I believed God now saw me as clean and righteous based upon what Jesus did on the cross. I was accepted. I was loved. I had a new family in Christ and a new life. I took a Bible institute course offered at the church. I “witnessed” to every person I saw. I was persistent and annoying. This boldness came from a desire for everyone to see, understand, and believe this great news. I lost all of my friends who I partied with. They didn’t reject me; I rejected them. To this day, I regret the loss of those friendships.
While in Okinawa and attending Maranatha Baptist Church, I met a guy named Jonathan. He introduced me to preaching cassettes of his pastor, Karl Baker from Calvary Baptist Church in Beaufort S.C. I listened to everything he had. I also got on a mailing list to receive cassettes of his preaching. It turned out that my next orders were to MCAS Beaufort S.C. I already knew where I was going to attend church when I moved to the states. Upon my arrival, I was introduced to Johny’s parents, Charlie and Cressy. They were a really neat family. Johny and his two sisters were adopted by Charlie and Cressy (Cressy was their aunt). Charlie and Cressy also had 5 children of their own. I loved spending time at their house. Their hospitality never seemed to wear out. I ate at their house nearly every night. I felt almost like their 9th child.
I got out of the Marine Corps in August of 2002. I stayed in S.C. and attended Calvary Baptist Church. I was a faithful member. I helped with the cassette tape ministry, started a nursing home ministry, and assisted with mowing the grounds. Most Saturdays, I went to historic Beaufort to participate in open air preaching. This was a long and controversial tradition of Calvary Baptist Church. I once replaced the A/C unit in the fellowship hall. This was a big task and I would have done it for free. I was committed to the cause of Jesus Christ. Karl Baker was very enthusiastic and knowledgeable. However, he was a very caustic preacher. I’m not sure why, but this aggressive preaching was very attractive to me. Maybe it reminded me of the drill instructors in boot camp. He thundered from the pulpit absolute truths based on an absolutely infallible and inerrant book, the King James Bible. I loved knowing absolute truth. I believed that God inspired only the KJV Bible. All other versions were “of the Devil.” I, like any deacon, did not own a television. They were tools of wickedness. Either the Bible was true or it was a lie. My life seemed black and white. I was on God’s side. He loved me and the proof was in the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus His Son. Not of works could I be justified, but by faith in the finished work of Jesus on the cross.
My excitement about Calvary Baptist Church came to an end in 2004 when I began to listen to another preacher’s teachings and started to disagree with some of the Independent Fundamentalist doctrines. Brother Baker caught wind of this. He invited me to his house and we had a long heated discussion. He didn't change my mind. He asked me for all of the CD’s and books that I had. He listened to all of them and began to preach against these teachings. This often felt directed at me. I also started to see how angry he seemed. It was such a negative atmosphere. For about six months, I took notes during each sermon. At the end of my notes, I would write one of two things; either the message was gospel (good news) or not gospel (something other than Jesus’ grace). I almost never concluded gospel. I felt somewhat ostracized because my differing doctrines (heresies so called). People seemed to be avoiding me because I thought differently. I cold only believe what I was convinced of. Fear and intimidation weren't very helpful to change my mind.
I moved back to Oklahoma in December of 2005. It felt good to be around my family again. I started attending various churches to find one that was “likeminded.” I ended up at Maranatha Baptist in Newcastle, OK. This was an Independent Fundamental church. However, I didn’t last much more than a year. The pastor was big on church membership, but I was already a member of the body of Christ. There were many doctrinal issues and things just didn’t feel right. The KJV Bible was the absolute authority, but how could we differ on so many things if we had the same book? I left assured that I would find likeminded fellowship.
Just prior to my exodus from Maranatha Baptist Church, I met the love of my life on a Baptist Dating website. We talked for hours, almost daily. I did most of the talking. We disagreed on many very big ideas. I wanted to homeschool my kids, like Charlie and Cressy. She was finishing her masters in music education. I thought that women should wear dresses at all times to be modest. She wasn’t raised this way. I thought Christmas was very pagan and offensive to God. She loved the tradition. These differences almost seemed to prevent any further attempts of becoming a couple and getting married. One day she called and was very excited. She said that God showed her that the Bible says for women to submit to men. She said that if she was not willing to submit to me, then she had no business talking to me. That’s when I decided to drive to Ohio and meet her. We fell in love and got married on July 21st, 2007.
We tried a few churches after getting married. We found it difficult to fit in. We didn't agree with any of the churches doctrinally. We finally, just to get some fellowship, started attending “The Bible Study Center.” This was basically a guy that loved to study and teach the Bible. He quit his job as a home builder and, with his dad and others help, built a large building. Living quarters on the second floor and a big classroom on the first floor. He would study and teach. I never truly agreed with all of his doctrine, but we stayed for the fellowship. We went here for a few years. I was often able to teach/preach. I would try to bring everybody’s attention to what I thought was most important; God’s grace to sinners through Jesus. This seemed to be the most important thing in the Bible to me. I couldn’t understand how most Christians around me were interested in, seemingly, almost everything other than this precious teaching. I believed God deals and did deal with people differently in different times. I believed we were in the time that He was dealing with mankind with grace and mercy. Transgressors of God’s law obtained this grace and mercy though the substitutionary atonement of Jesus. He died in our place, as the sinner, that we may never die, as though we are righteous. A Christian did not die, they merely slept. This gospel, according to my view, was taught primarily by Paul the Apostle. It was not in Matthew, Mark, Luke or John. It wasn't taught by Peter. Paul had to reveal it to him. Peter took the Gospel of the Kingdom (which was different than Paul’s gospel) to the “Circumcision” (Jews) and Paul took the Gospel of God’s Grace through Jesus to the Gentiles (everyone else). This was something that no churches or pastors were talking about. I only knew a few people that held this view. My neighbor was one. There were Facebook pages for dispensational truth. I met another person who held a bible study in OKC. I was super excited. However, we ended up not agreeing on doctrine in the end. We lost interest in the Bible Study Center when there was a lot of internal problems with the leadership. We stopped going.
We were stressed about not having a church. There was pressure within and without. Lynae’s family thought we needed a church family. We wanted a church family to raise our children around. We went to a few different churches. There was a large mega church called Life Church. Not our cup of tea. Around 2014-2015 a co-worker told me of a church called Frontline. I did a little research and we thought we would give it a try. I went by myself the first time. I listen to many of the sermons on their podcast. They seemed to focus totally on the Grace of Jesus in every sermon. This was exciting. The sermons covered many topics, yet the Gospel of God’s Grace in Jesus was central. We started going. We liked the music. We like the sermons. We liked the coffee. We attended several home group studies/fellowships. Everything seemed great. However, as I started looking at some of the authors they suggested in the “book room” and hearing some of the subtle messages, I learned they were what I classified as Calvinist. The teachings were subtle most of the time. We got discouraged. We thought we had found “THE Church.” Sermon after sermon, these “false teachings” were apparent. Our motivation to go services eventually faded and we stopped going.
I was so puzzled why there were so many doctrines and so many churches if the Holy Spirit was in all believers.
Though we stopped attending church, I never stopped studying the Bible. As was typical, my intensity of study would have highs and lows. These highs and lows would often correlate with my self esteem. If I wasn’t reading and studying the Bible, I felt guilty. I was definitely at a low one night at work. I got into a discussion with a co-worker about the age of the earth; millions and millions of years vs. ~ 6 thousand years. After a long discussion, we ended up watching a Kent Hovind (creation science evangelist) video about the age of the earth. He was intrigued. He had a lot of questions. We started to have long intense discussions about God. I was excited. Finally, I got to share all that I had learned over the years and help someone know these absolute truths. I had the truth and was happy to share. I had just never had anyone interested. He appeared to have a genuine conversion. My intensity was renewed. Eventually we decided to go back to Frontline and just enjoy the fellowship. After all, there had to at least be someone there that knew how to correctly interpret the Bible.
We became interested in becoming members at Frontline in late 2015. We signed up for new membership classes starting around the first of the year (2016). The first night they gave us a booklet about new membership. I began to study. My main focus, as usual, was to see if there were any “deal-breakers.” I was disappointed page after page. I disagreed with so much of their doctrine. At the end they had a section that stated they also agreed with this creed and that bible statement and …… I printed those off and studied them thoroughly. There were so many fundamental things I couldn't agree with. My wife was devastated that I continually questioned everything. We could never just fit in. I planned on going to the other membership classes and asking all the tough questions. I kept asking myself the question, “If the Holy Spirit of God was in all Christians, why were there so many differing beliefs? Why couldn’t we come to the same conclusions?” This was frustrating and confusing.
While waiting to go to the next class, I was listening to a podcast on some political philosophy stuff that interested me. I didn’t know it, but the speaker was an atheist (no belief in a deity). Podcast #13 was titled “Proof, Disproof and Deities.” I listened to the whole thing with tremendous faith that God would guide me down the path of truth. I wasn’t worried one bit that my confidence in the Bible would waiver. However, I was troubled by what I heard. I didn’t want to admit it to myself that I had never approached the Bible with any skepticism. I brushed it aside with plans to answer these objections to my faith later, maybe after joining Frontline. I continued to listen to the podcast. There were several more podcast about how God/religion affected the government. I made it all the way to #29. The title was “Ten Questions To Ask Religious Friends.” This didn’t bother me because I had the truth with a capital T. I wasn't even religious. I could tell he didn't fully understand the Bible, but it didn’t matter. The truth was that the questions bothered me. I had answers, but deep down they were not satisfying answers to me. One of the last things he asked was if it is possible for people to believe false things. I knew the answer was yes. He then asked if it was possible that I could be wrong. I thought that every other God claim other than Christianity was definitely wrong. I even thought that most Christians had most doctrines wrong. I has witnessed the fact that I had believed wrong things in the past. I had no choice but to admit to myself that I could also be wrong. He then challenged his listeners. If there was a chance that I could be wrong about my belief in God, then I should be honest with my children. I should tell them that mommy and daddy believe in God but this belief could possibly be wrong. He said religious people will never have that conversation. I took this as a direct challenge. I was going to have intellectual honesty. I wanted more than anything to be honest. I wanted to, like many apologists before, answer the tough questions that the speaker had brought to my attention. I was going to turn my skepticism of all those various Christian doctrines onto Christianity itself. I had great confidence that God would guide me into all truth, as the Bible says.
I went to a Christian book store and bought a relatively small apologetics book. I figured there would be an attempt to answer most of the podcast speaker’s objections to Christianity. I brought it home. I sat down at the table with my six year old son (about to turn 7 in the next few days). I began to read aloud the foreword. The writer said something about hell. My son asked “what is hell dad?” I answered that it is a place where those who don’t put their trust in Jesus go when they die. They suffer the pain of burning in a lake of fire as a punishment for all of eternity. It is a place of weeping and gnashing of teeth. As I was telling my son this, I realized that there is no way he would not believe in Jesus. He would be terrified to reject Jesus now that I have told him this. His belief would be based in fear instead of evidence. I also realized if I was a Muslim, and told him about a Muslim hell, he would one day become a Muslim. This was something I had never allowed myself to think about.
I soon had a question that I couldn’t stop thinking about; “Why would someone that was once a strong Christian (maybe a pastor) reject Christianity?” I started to Google search things like “Pastor becomes atheist.” I was overwhelmed with the results. The first video I watched was “Teresa MacBain on her transition from minister to atheist at Reason in the Rock 2012” https://youtu.be/6_AWG6FmOgY. I listened to the video on my way home from work. I can remember sitting in my driveway intently listening to the last part of her story. She mentioned some authors. I jotted them down: Dan Barker, Bart Ehrman, Richard Carrier. I felt afraid. I was worried to tell my wife. I was fearful of where this all may lead. I went into the house told my wife about what I had heard. I told her I was troubled, but I have to be honest and get to the bottom of all this. I had to face these questions. In my Google searches, I also found the first atheist book I would read. It was called “Why I Became an Atheist: A Former Preacher Rejects Christianity” by John Loftus. This is exactly the book I was looking for. John was a student of William Lane Craig, one of the leading christian apologists. I wanted to know his reasonings for rejecting what he once held dear. What was his thought process? I read the book and have since read many other books by atheist authors. I have watched countless debates. I have listened to hundreds of hours of podcasts. I met with a pastor from Frontline Church. We talked for about 4 hours. I found his arguments unconvincing, even when I wanted to do different. I wanted Christianity to be true. For it to not be true, meant that the last 16 years of my life had been lived in a delusion (belief or impression that is firmly maintained despite being contradicted by what is generally accepted as reality or rational argument). It was evident that my wife was questioning things as well. We would talk about what we were reading. This was often troubling for both of us. I think she knew where these questions would all end up. She had her own spell of questioning and doubt a few years prior to all of this. She decided then to just stop the questioning. But now, we were facing it head on together. There were many tears and emotions. We weren't always on the same page. It was like a roller coaster. I felt, at times, that she may even want to divorce me if I stopped believing. This was troubling, because I knew deep down that I lacked faith and had strong doubt. I was no longer convinced that the Bible was reliable. I couldn't really do anything about it. I could have professed to believe. I could have pretended to believe. However, I couldn’t actually believe. I realized for the first time that one can not chose to be convinced of something. You are either convinced or you are not. I couldn’t believe there was sufficient evidence to believe the truth claims of the Bible, even when I wanted to.
It would be hard to explain all of my emotions and thought processes while reading the books, watching the videos and listening to the podcasts. However, I will say that I have learned a new way of thinking. I have come to learn the value of skepticism, critical thinking and the scientific method. I have learned that there were questions that I didn’t allow myself to ask when I was a Christian. I somehow thought that questioning things was sinful. Romans 14:23b says “for whatsoever is not of faith is sin.” Colossians 2:8 (my favorite verse) says “Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.” I was afraid to question. I was afraid that philosophy would lead me away from Christ. I never thought too much about why I believed something. I only thought much about what I did believe. I began to question how I came to my conclusions. What were my reasons? Would those reasons be convincing to people from other faiths? What was faith? I began to see that the only time that faith is necessary is when there was a lack of good evidence. Otherwise, one would simply believe the evidence. I no longer value faith. I now value evidence. I can not say with certainty that there are no gods. However, I do not find any of the god claims convincing. Therefore, I do not believe. It really is hard to say what would be persuasive. If there was a god that knows everything , he would know what would be convincing to me.
I don’t claim to have all the answers. There are a ton of questions that I still have. I am excited about these questions. Where did we come from? I don’t know. Is the big bang true? I don’t know. Is evolution true? I don’t know. There are so many things I don’t know. I am excited to investigate them. As a Christian, I didn’t really have a need to investigate too much. I used to believe in absolute knowledge from a perfect book written through fallible men by a infallible God. I thought I had all the answers. I might not have understood, but I had all the answers in the KJV Bible. With any question, I would always start with the assumption that the Bible was true and work backward from there. It should be apparent that once you have all the answers, there is no need to ask any more questions or view any more evidence. However, now I can explore. Now I feel free to ask questions. I am an atheist (one that lacks belief in a god). This only speaks to one question about what I don’t believe, nothing else. Do I believe in any of the gods presented through the various holy books? I don’t. I am not convinced. Atheism is not a belief, is not a religion and requires no faith. It is the conclusion that those who claim God is real cannot substantiate their claim. This does not mean that I think believers are stupid or lack intelligence. I’m simply not convinced.

These are the books that I have read since the beginning of April in 2016. I studied for a promotion around the middle of August and finished in December. So, there was a three month gap where I only read Technical manuals and Standard Operating Procedures for my Job. My favorite books are the personal stories.

BOOK LIST:

Why I Became an Atheist: A Former Preacher Rejects Christianity by John Loftus

Godless: How an Evangelical Preacher Became One of America's Leading Atheists by Dan Barker

Jesus, Interrupted: Revealing the Hidden Contradictions in the Bible (And Why We Don't Know About Them) by Bart D. Ehrman

The Christian Delusion: Why Faith Fails by John Loftus

Hope after Faith: An Ex-Pastor's Journey from Belief to Atheism by Jerry DeWitt

The Greatest Show on Earth: The Evidence for Evolution by Richard Dawkins

Deconverted: A Journey from Religion to Reason by Seth Andrews

The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins

Life Driven Purpose: How an Atheist Finds Meaning by Dan Barker

Lost Christianities: The Battles for Scripture and the Faiths We Never Knew by Bart D. Ehrman

The Rise and Fall of Alexandria: Birthplace of the Modern World by Justin Pollard & Howard Reid

Bible Prophecy: Failure or Fulfillment? by Tim Callahan

Breaking the Spell: Religion as a Natural Phenomenon by Daniel C. Dennett

The End of Faith: Religion, Terror, and the Future of Reason by Sam Harris

Infidel by Ayaan Hirsi Ali (First book of 2017)

Sex & God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality by Darrel Ray

a stolen life a memoir by jaycee dugard

Letter to a Christian Nation by Sam Harris

"Nailed: Ten Christian Myths That Show Jesus ever Even Existed At All" by David Fitzgerald

“The Moral Landscape: How Science Can Determine Human Values” by Sam Harris

"Why There is No God" by Armin Navabi

"Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor E. Frankl
“Waking Up: A Guide to Spirituality Without Religion” by Sam Harris

Hi I'm new to the Atheist Republic forum, but have been following the Twitter page for quite some time.

I was raised Catholic. Rejected it by the age of 18. I could go on forever about the reasons why I rejected it, so I’ll give you the short version. At first it was due to the homophobia and misogyny of the bible and the Catholic Church itself. Even before I came to terms with my sexuality, I had this grievance with all of Christianity. But there is also the unreasonable list off all the things you must do to not only get into heaven but to be considered a Christian (and what a Christian actually means these days is still open for debate). It almost seems like they are trying to sell an idea of morals. But its not morals based on doing the right thing because it’s the right thing. But doing the right thing based on a bribe or fear of torture. Many atheists go as far as to describe the Christian God as an almost mafia boss style character. That to me is not true morality and it is certainly not compelling at all. Obviously the high level of mythology infused into this religion, was also a very significant factor in convincing me it’s not for me.

So most of my life I tended to self identify as an atheist. Even went as far as to have myself formally defected from the baptismal register to make a point. For some reason they don’t let you do that any more.

Atheism certainly is a great ailment for Catholic guilt I can tell you. However I went through a brief time in my life when I doubted my doubt. I started to question myself by asking “Am I too being narrow minded and too assuming to be correct about such notions?”. So I started reading up on deism a lot. It seems that a lot of people don’t really understand deism. Which is a shame, because it is a great alternative to organised religion. In many ways (apart from the obvious) deism and atheism can be very similar in regard to how we embrace reason and how we look at organised religion etc. In fact if you read any of the philosophical texts written by deists, they really aren’t that much different than those written by atheists.

Eventually I arrived back at my post-Catholic conclusion. While deism is interesting, while there is noting going against it, there is nothing going in it's favour either. I will still read texts by deists and can see myself being very open to many deistic ideas. But the only thing I can call myself with complete honesty is an agnostic-atheist.

I was born atheist. Just like everyone else.

End of story...

I was originally a christian when I went through a religious school where I was subject to a lot of verbal abuse from both teachers and fellow students and I was beaten up a few times. The main reason why I was so hated at that school was that I asked questions that people didn't want to or cannot answer. It got to the point where I became my own worst enemy, agreeing with my bullies that it was my fault and that god hated me. It wasn't until high school where I found out I was on the autistic spectrum and no I was not at fault for how I was treated that I began the slow trek to rational thought. I had people who were willing to answer my questions rather than tell me I was too stupid to ask these questions or to just shut up. People were willing to challenge my indoctrinated "facts" with actual evidence and eventually I came to the realization that there is no god. I am still angry at that school yes, but I have come to terms with what has happened and moved on.

I've written "why I am an atheist" stories too many times so want to keep this short and simple, keep in mind the brevity will leave out a lot.

Its the usual story, nice christian boy, after nearly decade of belief and church community service, decides bible studies are a bit dull, wants to further explore relationship with monotheistic god of Abraham, reads the entire book god is said to have authored (and there are still christians that still haven't read the thing in its entirety) and several other books on biblical and bible history and after some very difficult realisations comes to the conclusion that none of it can be true.

Fast track forty years later and after reading hundreds of books on history and science and more biblical studies I still don't believe any of it but I am so interested, endlessly fascinated in how this unbelievable Abrahamic faith has spawned three different world religions and forged the history of a greater part of this poor bloody planet.

I still read my bible everyday, its still a greatly interesting document, brilliantly written in some places and poorly in others and still I find more reasons not to believe in any religion associated with it.

That's why.

That's a great story Pakana. I enjoyed reading it.

I have nothing but respect for people who were brought up with religion but then somehow figured it out for themselves that it is all just a big lie.

It must be particularly hard when your family, friends, community (the people you love most in the world) all hold religious beliefs because when you reject those beliefs you are basically saying, at best, that you think they are mistaken, or, at worst, they are kinda stupid !

Of course, every religion knows that the younger they can indoctrinate a child the more chance they have of holding them to their doctrine for life. That's why you shouldn't be too hard on your family/friends, it is very hard to break free and not everyone is strong enough to do it.

I consider myself lucky that I was brought up without any religion. My father was an atheist. Not that I even knew what that meant back then. He never spoke about it. Religion was just never a topic of conversation at home. I had never been to church. I did learn a little about religion at school I suppose and I would have heard reference to God on television etc (it is impossible to avoid it all together unless you live on a remote island) and I suppose I would have asked my Dad a question or two. He explained that some people believed in God and some didn't. When prompted he told me he didn't. Most boys that age look up to their fathers and I was no exception. What was good enough for him was good enough for me. I was a disbeliever from that day and I didn't really give it another thought.

It wasn't until I went to college and met and fell in love with a girl who had been brought up catholic that religion ever crossed my mind. Luckily for me she was real smart and had rejected her religion. We are still together over 30 years later.

It did lead to some funny moments actually. I had never been in a church for example until I was about 20. I had never been to a wedding or a funeral let alone any form of worship. I didn't even know that different religions had different churches, I imagined they were all the same !

Anyhow, over the years I have read a lot and learned a lot. I probably know far more about religion now than the average believer. About ten years ago I began studying different religions (from an atheist background) everything I saw & read and everything I see around me just convinces me more that my dad was right. I'm an atheist and proud to be one.

Because I think for myself.

I am completely open minded though. I'd become a Christian this very moment if anyone could show me indisputable scientific evidence that any of that religious nonsense was true, I just don't have any reason to believe that it is.