Not a big problem in the great scheme of things. I am among a group of friends/acquaintances who go out to eat together after an afternoon dance about twice a month. The group number varies from 6 to 20. We've been doing this for a number of years. Some friends know that my dance partner and I are atheists. Others don't, although I don't hide my lack of belief. Last week a member said he'd like to "bless the food" before we ate. I was preoccupied and didn't notice but heard my partner say no. The next thing I know is the lady beside me instructing everyone to hold hands. Since my partner and I were at the end of the table I just took this lady's hand and pushed it across the table to hold that person's hand, basically cutting my partnEr and I out of the circle. A few people noticed this but no one said anything. The gentleman who started it and has a divinity degree did his blessing thing while my partner and I looked elsewhere. I can overlook once, but how should I handle this if he tries again? I truly enjoy this group of people and the laughter and conversation we have, but I'm also serious about my disbelief. Suggestions?
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As I always say, better to show your real self and your views than to commit identity suicide just for the sake of keeping aquantences. If they are really good people, you being an atheist will not break the bond.
Note: I use the term "aquantences" summarily to mean friends, close friends, and family(and all things between)
If you are open about your atheism , and your friends are aware , what is the harm in holding hands in a circle? Are you voluntarily joining them in a social setting that might erupt in prayer ? Would they be open to a secular "blessing" from you once in a while?
"Duck crossed a lake and lost a feather. This time next year may we all be together". (Sorry!)
KofW's and Chimp3's reactions are fine but I wouldn't get involved. Just don't join the circle and let them do their thing. If their circle is broken its their problem, not yours. Let those who can hold hands do so. Reasonable non-believers deter religious behaviors and superstitions.
This sort of thing always happens to me. The religious think that their beliefs reign over everyone and everything else. It really pisses me off. I can't advise you what to do.
In my case, if I am the guest of a religious group I comply best I can without participating in any religious ritual. If they are my guest I don't allow any religious nonsense nor do I impose on them to do anything that would compromise their belief. In a neutral setting, if someone in the group wants to start some religious nonsense, I tell them they can do what they want individually as their religious right is ONLY an individual right, and to not impose their bullshit on anyone else. Hey if they don't want to hear it, they don't have to start the shit. If they want my company then they don't have to pull their religious shit.
In your case I don't see what having a good time and dancing has to do with religious anyway. Your religious friends are just being condescending and trying to force their bullshit on everyone else.
I think that they pulled that religious shit simply because they know that you and your partner are atheist, and for no other reason.
Hmm, well I'd say that what that person did was a dick move (pardon my language, but hey, a duck is a duck). Assuming he knew you two were atheists, that is. I think you made the right move though. Didn't need to start a whole confrontation over that, and if he pulls the stunt again, I'd just let the circle go over me again. No skin off MY back, just a waste of my precious effin' time.
Seems a simple question of politeness, yes? Sit quietly and don't take part.
When I dine out with Hindu friends, I eat vegetarian. Not as an act of faith, but out of politeness. If they engage in a religious ritual that I cannot take part in, I sit it out, remaining quiet and respectful.
What will you gain by rejecting people because they believe differently than you? After all, this isn't a question unique to atheists.
I usually approach situations like this with the simple strategy of politely declining to participate while respecting their right to do a prayer. If anyone makes a big stink out of the fact that I'm not participating, I usually pose a question to point out the hypocrisy; If I wished to perform a satanic pre-meal blessing, would they refuse to participate? Why then would you expect a different response from me?