HELP! Feeling really depressed, my brother wants to wreck my life!

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Big Fat Heretic's picture
HELP! Feeling really depressed, my brother wants to wreck my life!

Good evening everyone:

I've became an atheist a few years ago. Of course I have always been somewhat agnostic
when it came to religious doctrine. Even back when I still believed in a God, I never could
take the Bible literally. I have always accepted Evolution.

Anyway . . . . .

I'm 66 years old now. My younger brother has become a very strict Catholic.
We have been on speaking terms, on and off over the years.

OK, some years ago, back in 2005, my younger brother admitted to me, during
an on line PM messaging session, we had a really bad argument, and he admitted
to me, that back in the early 1970s, when we were living out at Moongate, a residential
area outside Las Cruces, New Mexico, that he tried to steal a shotgun from a neighbor.

I was 19 years old and he was 18 at the time. He admitted the reason he wanted to
come after me with a shotgun, was because my wanting to build a telescope, an 8 inch
Newtonian reflector, that I was being disruptive of the family.

My brother was in the high school marching band, and he played the trumpet.
Our mother worked her butt off for him! Then, when I had ordered a kit from the
Edmond Scientific Company, she felt that I was entitled to have some of my own.
But, my brother felt differently. When our neighbor saw him coming out of his
house, he grabbed the shotgun from him. I wish I had known about it back then.

That was long ago. Now on to the present time.

We had been texting and sending E mails. I had informed as to why I don't believe
in God anymore. I sent him video links, and his response was that Stephen Hawking
is now down in Hell.

OK, this evening, after sending him a video, from Dark Matter 2525, he said
that he was going to call the management of my apartment complex to have
me evicted.

I'm low income, on disability, and living in public housing, where the rules have
become more and strict.

I also have a next door neighbor who has been calling tho police complaing
of loud noise noises. NO! I was only playing YouTube videos from my
Android iPod, and the officer said that it was not too loud.

She is one of those Christian Fundies. I have never heard music or anything
come from her apartment, not even on warm nights when her back door was
open, before the air coolers were finally turned on.

OK, a few weeks ago, it was a very warm night. I had my back door open.
I had a friend over. We use to hang out at the Democratic Headquarters
back in 2012. Anyway . . . we were having a discussion about a political
article I had read in AlterNet about a charter school in Texas where some
teacher wanted the studends to write an essay about "positive aspects
of slavery" and I had told my friend who was visiting, that if I had been a
student in the classroom, I would refuse to write about something I do
not believe in, even if it meant the schooling calling the cops, having
me Tazered, and hauled off to jail, and possibly beaten and raped.

Apparently, the Christard next door overheard our conversation, and then we
had two cops knocking on the front door and two more at my back door!

Eventually, after about a half hour, they left.

I'm scared!!!

And now, my younger brother is trying to wreck my life, threatening to
call the housing authority to have me evicted.

Well, I won't be texting him and I won't be sending him any more E mails.
I sent the last one this evening, informing him, that I have friends who
know about my brother an the shotgun incident.

To this very day, after all those years, he still feels justified I what he had tried to do.

My brother is a sociopath!

(Posting this from my AT&T Android iPod)

~ Big Fat Heretic ~

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Sushisnake's picture
@Big Fat Heretic

@Big Fat Heretic

Hi mate. Nice to meet you. I'm Sushi.

Firstly, do you trust the housing authority and there is anyone there you can talk to about what's going on with your neighbour and your brother?

Big Fat Heretic's picture
I've been seeing a social

I've been seeing a social worker who comes to visit. I do
have some mental health issues. My doctor suspects
that I'm bipolar because of my mood swings between
severe depression and anxiety.

It's getting bad. I live in El Paso, Texas. My brother lives
in Denver, Colorado. He has more money and he can
afford to fly all over the world.

As for me, toward the end of the month, I get so damn
broke I can't even afford to pay attention!

I need to get out of public housing. Management has even
told me that I'm not to be discussing politics or religion
even in my own apartment.

What the fucking Hell. Being told what I may not talk
about when I have visitors over. It never use to be
this way. The rules have become more strict since
the start of the Trump administration. Ben Carson
whom Trump appointed as head of HUD, wants to
triple the rent! I'm scared! I would never be able
to afford that!

I have to get out of public housing, even if it means
living in a single axle trailer so I can have more privacy.

Public housing is now a baby crib!!! I fear more rules
are going to be imposed on us.

Yeah! My Christard brother has more money and
more rights than I will ever have.

Well, according to the BUYBULL, God favours the younger
brother, and he hates the physically handicapped!

My case worker is going to see about my housing situation.

It's getting late. I got to log some sack time.

~ Big Fat Heretic ~

Sapporo's picture
The previous instances with

The previous instances with the police are probably dead issues - if it had been possible for them to act further, they probably would have done so already.

But of course you should be wary in the future.

Perhaps ask your social worker what you should do about your brother's threats? If it was me, I'd probably try to send the housing association a short letter before my brother got a chance. Ideally, such letters should stick to facts and be unemotional in tone, in order to be taken more seriously than any letters from your brother. You could say that your brother has threatened to send a letter to the housing authority to have you evicted because he objects to you not being a Catholic (it would probably be best not to mention your own beliefs), and that you are worried that the housing authority would take such a letter seriously.

Sushisnake's picture
Good advice, Sapporo.

Good advice, Sapporo. Proactive's always better than reactive.

I'd start a diary, too. I know it sounds silly, but diaries are legal documents. Jot down the time/dates you brother threatens you and the run ins with your neighbour - including the police visits afterwards. And keep the texts/emails from your brother, even though every instinct in you screams "delete".

I get that public housing is a nightmare for you right now, but it's my understanding private rental housing in the US is pretty grim for low income folk, too: don't be too hasty.

Sheldon's picture
I agree with Sapporo, but do

I agree with Sapporo, but do be careful what you tell the housing association, as they only need to know that your brother is making threats. If you have any PM's or emails from him making such threats this would be handy to corroborate your point.

In the UK we have things like Citizen's Advice, they offer free legal advice to people who don't have money to hire solicitors. Is there anything comparable in the US? If so then it would be very prudent to get some legal advice on the issue. Given your brothers longstanding antagonism I think you would be prudent to stop all contact. I don't think reminding him that you're an atheist is wise, the first rule here should be only to voice your atheism if there is no risk to yourself.

I don't know what else to say, except good luck, take care of yourself and be careful.

Big Fat Heretic's picture
It gets worse! I know another

It gets worse! I know another tenant who liked to
build model ships. The housing authority told
him he had to stop.

We're not even allowed to have hobbies anymore!

It is a scientific fact, that when senior citizens keep
their minds active, it can prevent dementia.

No! Were just suppose to twiddle our thumbs or suck
our thumbs like toddlers!

Oh! But of course! Texas is a theocracy and Jesus
says we must be as little children!

Yeah! I get it now!

Can't live like adults anymore.

Sapporo's picture
That is scary. Sounds like

That is scary. Sounds like you cannot even rely on the housing authority to be reasonable.

If there are social groups that are available to tenants, it might be a good idea to make an appearance at them in order to become moderately friendly with your neighbors. But best not to get political or state serious opinions! (I'm starting to sound rather Machiavellian...). Generally, people become far more sympathetic to someone they barely know than to a complete stranger. But it is perfectly understandable if you find the idea of attending such groups a drag.

Big Fat Heretic's picture
Most of the people living

Most of the people living here are very religious. If you
fly over my neighborhood, it's impossible to fall from a
helicopter without getting impaled on a church steeple.

OK, I'm a Democrat, and I had a couple of BETO signs on my
lawn, and they were taken away.

Oh! But I see lots of Jesus and Virgin Mary icons on doors
and windows on the other cottages. Normally I don't mind
because I do support freedom OF religion. People are free
to believe in their retarded fairy tales. But, I very strongly
support freedom FROM religion. Other people here can
express their religious views, but I'm not allowed to have
my political views.

If my BETO signs can be removed, then I want to see
all the religious stickers removed as well.

Tit For Tat, and all that!

I guess the housing authority don't care if I keep sinking
deeper and deeper into my depression. Just how angry
do they want me to become?

I wonder . . . would my next door neighbor, would she
be happy if I were to flog my bear back with an extension
cord until I bleed?

I got to get out of Texas.

~ Big Fat Heretic ~

Sushisnake's picture
@BFH

@BFH

It sounds like you feel very alone and isolated, surrounded by Christians. Would meeting a few moŕe atheists close by help? I did a quick google search and there is an atheist group in El Paso who have meet ups:

https://www.meetup.com/en-AU/ElPasoAtheists-com/

They have a Facebook page, too.

Big Fat Heretic's picture
The meet up groups are

The meet up groups are usually out on the east side.
Also, at inconvenient hours and days.

I have to use the city busses. I don't have a car. If I were
to take a bus out to the east side, it would be too late
for me to get back home because the city buses don't
run after 9:00 PM.

As you see, in my avatar, I get around in a power chair.
I have arthritis in my knees and ankles. At home, I can
walk around in my apartment. I just can't do a lot of
long distance walking outside. So, I use the power chair

Also, on the days of the meet ups, my healthcare provider
is here. So, I can't get out on those days.

My brother has it made. He can afford to fly all over
the world.

Oh! Like, silly atheist! Money is for Christians because it
says, In God We Trust on it!!!

When my brother was living up in Minneapolis, Minnesota back
in 2008, he once paid a "hit man" $1,500 dollars to beat the
crap out of someone he didn't like.

What's to keep him from doing the same thing to me.

I can't even afford to have a pie thrown in someone's face!

Yeah! My brother is a real psychopath!!!

~ Big Fat Heretic ~

Cognostic's picture
You got some weird stuff

You got some weird stuff going on here.
1. You are equating evolution with atheism for some reason. They are not connected.
2. The relationship with your brother, by your own admission has always been "off and on." and he once wanted to "come after you with a shotgun.:

Reminds me of a saying, "Hurt me once and it is your fault, Hurt me twice and it is my fault. Hurt me a third time and I am just being stupid.

You get hurt once because you don't know any better. You get hurt twice because you did not learn your lesson the first time. You get hurt a third time because you are just being stupid. Why would you put up with anyone like your brother.

I KNOW OF WHAT I SPEAK: I left home when I was 16. Alcoholic father. Brother and sister in and out of prisons. Mother who only dated drug addicts and drunks. You are responsible for your life. You are responsible for the friends you keep. And now, you are responsible for your own depression,

"OK, this evening, after sending him a video, from Dark Matter 2525, he said." HELLO? Are you ever going to LEARN? Leave your brother alone. All you are doing is pissing him off. Do you need a shotgun up side your head???

AGAIN - WHY IN THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THIS?? (BREAK THE FRIGGING CONNECTION. CUT THE UMBILICAL CORD. GROW THE HELL UP.
Well, I won't be texting him and I won't be sending him any more E mails. (AND THEN YOU DID THIS. WTF? KNOCK IT OFF! YOU ARE CAUSING YOUR OWN PROBLEMS.)
I sent the last one this evening, informing him, that I have friends who
know about my brother an the shotgun incident. (THIS IS JUST YOU BEING FOOLISH.

Your brother neither respects you or likes you. What is it about this that you do not understand. Is he not being clear enough? You do not like or respect your brother (AS HE IS) you are trying to change him and he feels disrespected. Then you go and threaten him with that last E-mail. One of you needs to grow the hell up.

Sushisnake's picture
@BFH

@BFH

Sorry mate. I'm using a small tablet and couldn't see your chair. I now understand why you can't make it to the meet ups, but just because you can't get to them, it doesn't mean members can't get to you! One might live two streets over.

Has your doctor prescribed you any medication or referred you to mental health specialist for your mood swings, depression and anxiety? You sound like you really need some professional help with them.

arakish's picture
Although brutal, I tend to

Although brutal, I tend to agree with Cognostic. Leave your brother alone. I just wish I could the same with mine. I had to buy his house to bail him out. And that only because he has a 10 year old son. Although he is an Absolutist and I am Atheist, there is no way I was going to let his son end up homeless. Could care less about my brother. Although we live in the same house, we live at separate ends (3700 sqft). The only times we talk are about what is for supper, who is cooking, etc., etc.

The only advice I can give, since your situation is opposite of mine, is leave your brother the hell alone. Keep copies of his threatening texts and emails since they will help. Seek out local "legal aid" consulates.

Here are a few web sites that may help:

https://statelaws.findlaw.com/texas-law/free-legal-aid-in-el-paso.html

https://www.justia.com/lawyers/texas/el-paso-county/legal-aid-and-pro-bo...

https://www.yellowpages.com/el-paso-tx/free-legal-aid

Also talk with your social worker. Do not be afraid to ask him/her about their religious beliefs. If an Absolutist, see about getting a different social worker. Although social workers are NEVER to allow their personal beliefs to interfere with their duties, that NEVER happens. If necessary, tell you social worker you want to speak to their supervisor. Call for a review board hearing to get a new more compatible social worker if necessary. Ultimately, if needed, get legal advice. You can even discuss matters with your Social Security case worker. There are many many options.

You just need to get out there and seek these things out. Ain't no one else going to do it for you.

rmfr

Big Fat Heretic's picture
I'm not speaking or texting

I'm not speaking or texting my brother anymore. Yesterday
was the very last time. I only sent him one last link to a
video tape and that was it. As far as I'm concerned, he
just might as well be dead. Well ..... he is brain dead!

My healthcare provider, she had a similar falling out with her
older sister who was also a Christard Fundie. She had stolen
over $ 60,000 dollars from their mother.

My healthcare provider, she's like my adopted little sister, and
I'm very fond of her. After she is done working, we watch videos
together. She likes the COSMOS Space Time Odyssey videos
with Neil deGrasse Tyson, and we both also enjoy the YouTube
atheist, Aron Ra with his video series, The Foundational Falsehoods
of Creationism.

So, my younger brother and her older sister, are both a lost cause!
They can go to Hell in a hay wagon!

No, wait! I forgot. Because my younger brother and her older sister
both pray to Jesus, they get their GET OUT OF HELL FREE card!
Yeah! Stupid me!

As long as you tell Jesus you're sorry, you'll be fine!

I get it now!

~ Big Fat Heretic ~

Cognostic's picture
Better late than never. What

Better late than never. What in the hell do you need people like that in your life for? You are moving in the right direction now. Find people you have things in common with and visit with them, even if it is just on line for now. Find things you enjoy doing and do those things. If going to a meet up or atheist group seems difficult for you, ONE EXCUSE NOT TO GO IS AS GOOD AS ANOTHER. The fact of the matter is that you either go or you do not go. How difficult it is can be weighed against how important it is to you.

Here is something you should watch!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jhcxOhIMAQ

What holds you back from anything is your own mind.

Big Fat Heretic's picture
Good evening:

Good evening:

Thanks for the video link. That was excellent! I also enjoy videos
with Stephen Hawking. I have read most of his books.

Feeling sad since he died back in February.

He will be missed.

~ Big Fat Heretic ~

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