He brings you his resume, The BIBLE. Being a good manager, you instantly see how you can put his skills to use. (Cite your source and show how you will use Jesus's magic powers in your restaurant)
John 21 - Jesus and the Miraculous Catch of Fish.
I would start selling fish and chips. Jesus could show up to work every day with a truck load.
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IT would be awesome if jeebus worked at a fish and chips shop. You know, doing the the loaves and fishes thing
IT would be awesome if jeebus worked at BevMo. Doing the water to wine thing. [I prefer a merlot]
IT would be awesome if jeebus worked in a morgue. You know, doing his raise the dead thing
IT would be awesome if jeebus worked in a hospital doing his healing the sick thing
"IT would be awesome if jeebus worked in a hospital doing his healing the sick thing"
we wont need doctors no more.
"IT would be awesome if jeebus worked in a morgue. You know, doing his raise the dead thing"
we wont need any morgue too. and so on
billions of people will lose their jobs and careers, establishments will shutdown. and people will kill him for that, again.
crucify him!! crucify him!!
jesus be like "not again?"
imagine jesus working in a bakeshop and multiplying bread and puddings, only need 5 loaf bread to start.
man!!.. big income, less capital. right?
Jesus could be a fantastic rescue worker for the Coast Guard. (Walking on water.)
Sadly no figs on the menu.
God hates figs.
Would probably be a crappy tailor, too. Can't mix fabrics.
I would never hire jesus. I can't stand loafers and lazy assholes. He'd always be late to work if he showed up at all. He'd always be talking to his friends instead of working. He'd be bragging in the breakroom about his dad. He'd always need to wash that nasty mop of hair. Basically, he is a lazy bum, self-centered and completely unreliable, a liar, and a bragger, probably high all the time. Nope, jesus would probably be the worst employee you could ever have!
If I had a restaurant, I'd hire him as the wine waiter. Just give him a big bucket of water and he can do the rest.
@Algebe
If Jesus is a practical joker, though, then you might want to be wary of drinking the wine, as he might use his own blood instead. Yuck! Oh, and in that same respect, I would be equally suspicious of any crackers in the place.
Tinman -- the Coasties would give him a blanket party.
Nobody likes a new guy showing up and out performing the duty section.
@Cronus Re: Blanket party
Yeah, you've got a good point there. Still, after going through the crucifixion, getting smacked a few times with a bar of soap in a sock really shouldn't bother him all that much.
Jesus would make a great fireman. He could walk into a blaze and rescue people but if he ever died, he would just reappear three days later.
I asked for my hamburger to be resurrected, NOT reheated.
I could make use of a man that turns water into wine and terrorizes bankers.
Definitely stuck him behind the bar for happy hour. Make a killing on wine. Maybe we can teach the jebus to turn objects into bud light. Dilly dilly! A few cheap parlor tricks, we.be rolling in the dough!
@Jax Re: Turning water into beer
Actually, if Jesus could turn water into "Midnight Express" beer, that would be awesome! And instead of the bread, maybe he could keep the pretzel and peanut bowls full.
he can be recruited by isis and let him do the suicide bombing.
he doesn't have to worry of him self coz he's going to come back after 3 days
shit if that happen......
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@Q
A reusable suicide bomber.... Yeah, that would be disturbing.
Wait a minute? What if he started resurrecting the hamburger patties and the chicken nuggets. The whole restaurant could be turned into a barn yard in no time at all.
@Cog Re: "...restaurant could be turned into a barn yard in no time at all."
I imagine that would hurt their health inspection rating a tad bit.