WARNING: During this crisis, if you are unable to locate a loved one-

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Cognostic's picture
WARNING: During this crisis, if you are unable to locate a loved one-

MESSAGE FROM: Department of Environmental Action for Therapeutic Health

During this crisis if you are unable to locate a loved one, a friend, a relative, family member or significant other, DO NOT PANIC!!!

With the recent closure of gyms, spas, tanning facilities, and non-necessary medical clinics, and the implementation of social distancing, people will be gaining weight, tans will be fading, botox will be deflating, blonds will become brunettes and that man in the corner may just be your unshaven sister supporting a handlebar mustache.

It is advised by the Department of Environmental Action for Therapeutic Health, (DEATH) to begin ear-tagging people whom you wish to remember. For those of you with guns in your home, special colored glow in the dark ear tags are recommended. If someone is going to die, we prefer it be from the Corona virus and not from a gunshot to the head.

Thank you.

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Whitefire13's picture
Everything retro is new again

Everything retro is new again! Bushy brows. No eyelashes (when the spiders fall off), home cut hair... this decade is off to a great start!

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boomer47's picture
@White

@White

MY mate, who is quite wealthy is also a tight arse. Until about six months ago it was his practice to cut his own hair and beard with a pair of professional barber's clippers. The result truly had to be seen to be believed. .So started doing it for him.

Harder than it looks. his head has these ridges I can't get to. .Consequently, his head has a few rows of ridges. It looks a if he is too mean to go to a barber.

ME? I go to this nice lady hairdresser every three months. I get her to run over the dome and beard with a number 2 setting on her clippers.

I have male pattern balding, so quite denuded on top, but plenty on back and sides. I have a prejudice that old blokes like me with long hair look like pimps.

, Also dislike most tattoos, but especially on face, neck and hands. But, that's really none of my business. ME? I have a small discrete tattoo my upper right arm. It is truly awful. A souvenir of New Year's Eve in Singapore, 1969. My dad was really cross when he saw it. Most girlfriends thought it was cool.

--one of my army mates had a pair of eyes peeping above the underwear on his lower back.

Cognostic's picture
@Tight Ass: I have been

@Tight Ass: I have been cutting my own hair for over 20 years. A good pair of clippers and a mirror is all that is required. And I'll have you know, I am not a tight ass. I have 3 bananas up there at this very moment.

I began cutting my own hair when I moved to Korea. The damn Korean barbers know one way to cut hair and that is it. Short on the sides and fluffy on top. I hate it. I have thick hair and it sticks up. The top and the sides need to be nearly the same length. I just gave up explaining this to Korean barbers and bought a pair of clippers.

Whitefire13's picture
@bananabum...I also cut my

@bananabum...I also cut my own hair. It’s long, so about ever 3 months I get the dead ends - otherwise it’s always “up” in a clip. I can’t spend $60 on something I can easily do myself

boomer47's picture
@White

@White

I guess it's bit different with women who have long hair.

The nice lady hairdresser charges me $25, which is $10 cheaper than the 'Barber Boys' chain. Besides she's nice to speak with, the guys are a bir surly.

I tried cutting my own hair with electric clippers. Once. I've had more enjoyable experiences, such as having my teeth cleaned. I can manage $25 every 3 or 4 months.

White you save $60 a pop. Are you frugal or just too mean to spit? I'm pretty mean with most things. I didn't do any significant maintenance on my house for nearly 25 years. It all came to a head about 3 years, ago. Since then I've spent $60k and am still going. Need to replace the decking because It's sagging alarmingly. (it goes right across the back of the house because I'm on the side of a hill.)

Why won't I move? One reason; about a month ago, two kookaburras landed on the deck fence and sat there for ages. I was thrilled.

Cognostic's picture
@And I'm just avoiding the

@And I'm just avoiding the every few months 10 to 12 dollars. Women sure have it rough.

Whitefire13's picture
@Cranky...” Are you frugal ”

@Cranky...” Are you frugal ”

Yup...but in a good way. Own my house outright (here for 15 yrs). Redid the kitchen 2 years ago ... will redo the deck this summer. Saving for 3 education funds. Love to vacation once a year. It all adds up and I hate debt, so I save. Every little bit helps.

boomer47's picture
@White

@White

"@Cranky...” Are you frugal ”

Me too. Finished paying off my house in Nov 1995. Have never used credit since. I DO have a two debit cards with an overdraft facility which I have never used on one. . My debit cards cost me nothing.

During the time I was married, we lived on one income and either paid off a mortgage or saved the other. We paid off three mortgages, moving twice, upgrading each time. Travelled o/s every two years ,plus new cars, etc---- for the full period of our marriage we each bought ALL of our clothes ( except underwear) in Hong Kong . I became accustomed to being frugal.

These days I can afford to travel but refuse to fly cattle class and am too mean to pay business class. (I was bumped to business class once, and it ruined me fore economy class) Economy is bad enough domestically, especially with Virgin. I wouldn't fly with them again if it was free. .

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