Hi everyone,
I'm new here, and I guess I am also fairly new to Atheism in that I have been actively interested in my own non-belief for only the last year or so. Before that, I guess I just didn't know what I believed, or didn't think it that important.
Now I have fairly strong views against organised religion, and have a keen interest in finding out more about living my life as a good and honest Atheist and getting involved in discussion and debate.
One sticking point for me, however, has been my worry of upsetting my family, in particular my Father, who is Catholic.
When it comes to the average Joe on the street, I tend not to be worried about causing offence just by not believing (In my view I should then be just as entitled to be offended by their belief!), but I feel there is something different when it comes to my family, especially my dad, as I love him so dearly. I know he is hurt that I have rejected the religion I was brought up with to not question, and while I will never pretend to believe something I think is untrue again, I don't want to hurt him further with my keen interest in Atheism and Humanism. He's my papa.. I don't want to upset him!
I'm a grown woman, live on my own and I am very independent.. but my beliefs (or lack of!) creep into everyday situations much as they would for any religious person. This means that even though I try not to mention anything to do with religion around my father, or family.. I can't control the conversation completely and there have been situations where I have either played down my thoughts on a subject (and subsequently felt stupid for doing so) or just not replied all together (and came off as incredibly rude!)
Have any of you had the same dilemma? If so, how did you manage to actively seek out information and share your views without causing upset to your loved ones?
Thanks in advance! Kate x
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Princess, I know how you feel. My 90 year old mother knows I have a disdain for organized religion, but does not know I am an all out atheist.It serves no purpose, other than my ego, to tell her. She is old and fragile and I love her like nothing else. Ignorance is bliss and I plan to keep her blissful. Love your Papa.
I have been asked to lead blessing over holiday diners and I decline politely. In time the requests stopped. When conversation turns to faith and family goes on about how great God has been to them, I remain quiet.
On the occasions that someone questions my atheism and why I don't believe (and this is usually a bait laced with sarcasm) I look them in the eye and say "Are you questioning God's plan for me?" That puts an end to things.
Live your life on your terms, not the terms of family or those of the atheist community.
Yes, this I a common issue with atheist and atheism can lead to some conflict and hurt feelings when it comes to family. That being said, there are many people here who can relate to what you are going through here on this site and welcome to the forums!
Welcome I'm new to the community as well. I understand your issue well because I was raised a Christian and then followed the pagan path for a few years before finally discovering my true path as an Atheist. My family mainly consist of pagans and christians. Both religions believe in some form of higher power so it is difficult to be an Atheist amounts them. I posted once that I have issues with disapproving and disappointed looks from my family and I said that there are good days and bad days. On the good days my family just accepts me for who I am even if they are not really happy about it but on the bad days I have to just politely smile an pretend that the looks don't bother me even though they do because I discovered early on that if I fought with them about my beliefs and how I didn't appreciate the looks all I received was more heart ack and more looks so I think when it comes to religion within the family you will have to live and let live.. Let them think as they wish and you do the same. Family is important in my opinion so I will take the looks and smile rather than separate myself from my family over something that people already fight about too much.
You shouldnt care what other thinks. You can do whatever you want in the world, do what you wish most.