My 11 year old sister keeps insisting every opportunity she gets that I am going to hell. After I told her I don't even think hell is a real place, she started preaching about Jesus and kept repeating over and over how she will be saved but I will end up in hell forever. Now, even my parents don't do this, they leave me alone for the most part. It breaks my heart that my once open-minded, caring little sister has now turned into this. It's due to my parents' indoctrinating her that she has become like this and taken it upon herself to judge everyone and then delight in her superiority as a believer. I don't really want to change her right now because I think she might she reason as she grows older. But what I really want is some advice on how to handle when she starts preaching to me and sending me to hell. Keep in mind I love her dearly and I don't want to get angry with her or say anything to upset her. How do I stay calm and what do I say to her? Explanations of my point of view only incense her more.
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One thing that has worked for me when people just make claims without listening to my arguments is to ask questions. If someone prefers to to talk instead of listening, let them, but direct the conversation by asking questions. Ask the questions genuinely not in a mocking tone. The best questions are "How do you know?" or "How can you be sure?" So for example:
Them: You are going to hell.
Me: How do you know that?
Them: Because Jesus said...
Me: But how do you know that is true?
Them: Because Jesus is God and...
Me: How do you know Jesus is god?
And so on...
I like your approach to people who like to talk instead of listening. I guess its the best way to get them to think on their own. But it may be time consuming and annoying depending on how dead set they are on their beliefs.
I don't know for sure but the younger sister could just be trying to be annoying. Try reminding her that all people are loved equally according to her religion of current choice. Remind her that she is supposed to treat people with the same level of respect she wishes to receive from them. And furthermore, remind her that according to the christian Bible a saved soul is worth more than one that never needed to be saved. There is no all encompassing way to handle any particular person because everybody is different.
I think you should not even bother with her comments as you know there is no hell. Let her think what she will, she is way too young to be getting lectures on this.
Be a patient and loving role model and let her find her way as she grows older. You can always answer her claims with "I don't think so" and smile. If she asks why you don't then you can explain, if she doesn't then leave it be.
Hi Terri :) It's not a pleasant predicament, that's for sure!
I suggest asking her why she likes the idea of people being sent to hell. What is it about the prospect of people she knows suffering excruciating agony for unending billions of billions of years that makes her happy? Will she be able to enjoy heaven, knowing that each and every moment she spends there another scream will be torn from your throat? Explain to her that you don't like how her religion has made her able to think like that.
I agree she is so young that it's challenging to become very involved with explaining things. When I was that age I had lots of friends inviting me to church and it was a big social thing more so than philosophical but even then I did claim to be a theist for years. It's most important imo to not be angry with her because that will negatively define your ideology and give her more justification for being religious. Just remember a person will think a certain way today and think a different way tomorrow.
You could remind her each time she does this that she needs to save some coins for the Ferryman, or else she will not be able to cross the River Styx when she dies. When she responds about how that's not real, tell her this is exactly how hell is to you: A place in a story.
I would tell her calmly and lovingly that as she goes through life she will meet lots of people that see the world differently from her own view. Let her know you love her and always will be there for her no matter what life delivers. I think all humans fear death and particularly death of a beloved person. It is at these times that what we need most is each other, not God, to get us through so we can carry on.
Kids condemnation?......there isnt even such thing for adults for starters. Let's all remember that you are coming into a forum full of people who do not believe in this entities and punishments.
Just tell them to go to their room! JK, sorry could not help myself!
Hello Terri. I can relate to a point. Though I don't have someone chasing me around telling me I'm going to hell I do have a problem with the looks of disapproval and disappointment whenever I discuss anything to do with me being an Atheist. At first I fought with them for the looks but all they did was deny that they were doing it so that method didn't work so instead of fighting I decided to let them be I still discuss my beliefs from time to time and sometime they don't give me looks anymore but there are times when the looks appear and I just politely smile. It's hard to do sometimes because it hurts to see people I love look at me as though I'm a different species. Some of my family just decide to not even accept me being an Atheist which is frustrating because they then try to get me to be other things that I'm not. So I guess what I'm trying to say is you will have good days when the accept you for who you are and you will have the bad day where you have to decide weather to fight or just smile. Just don't cut the ties that bind you with your family because you will need them to lean on from time to time and nobody can replace family some friends may be family to you but it will never be the same I learned this the hard way. Best of wishes for the future Ms. Terri.
Just play what the Meteors sing, this outta shut your sis up.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IBg87nlY1s
Now, did that work?