Ex Wiccan

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tsm890's picture
Ex Wiccan

Hello, everyone. Long time user, but inactive until this evening. I decided to post here after some inner dialogue.

I "discovered" Wicca when I was 11 or 12, and was fascinated by a religion that was so unlike thw Christian religion I was raised in. So peaceful, life and sex are sacred, and ooh, magic! The woo was strong, and I just wanted to feel special.

Que 2006, 2007, and I read Richard Dawkins book The God Delusion. It was like I was pulling down a giant curtain that was blinding me from what was real, and that I didn't need to live in fear of hell, or doubt.

Now, these days, I've gone back to Wicca (sans pagan gods) for the comfort of it, and hoping that it would make me special in some way. I knew it was bullshit, and I know it's a waste of my time and money.

Has anyone had issues with this, or maybe could shed some light? I would talk with my therapist, but she's Christian.

TL;DR: I've gone back and forth with being Wiccan for comfort, and atheist because I want to be honest and find the truth. What do I do?

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David Killens's picture
Hello Tabitha, welcome to

Hello Tabitha, welcome to Atheist Republic.

"What do I do?"

Do you truly believe any Wiccan gods or goddesses are real? If you don't, then you are an atheist, despite the fact you may dress up and perform Wiccan ceremonies, and accept some Wiccan philosophies.

My personal impression is that you don't have anything to worry about, because you are being honest with yourself.

tsm890's picture
Thank you for the warm

Thank you for the warm welcome.

No, I do not and have not believed in any deities for more than 10 years. I just felt it was silly to go through the motions of the Wiccan ceremonies and not believe in the woo or anything, so what about it is so attractive?

David Killens's picture
@ Tabitha

@ Tabitha

You don't have to embrace or even believe in any organization's ethos, you can just enjoy it. There is a term for doing things that do not have to be rational, logical, or necessary, and it is called "having fun".

Tabitha, if that is your profile picture, you are a young lady just embarking on the greatest adventure of all, a full and happy life. Notwithstanding the moral considerations not to harm yourself or others, you go girl !!!

The sole expectation I place on you is that I hope you smile a lot more than frown.

tsm890's picture
Aww, thank you!!

Aww, thank you!!

Lmao what is this "having fun"?? Sounds so foreign.

I will do my best to not overthink, and just let loose. Thank you for your kind words.

Cognostic's picture
WAIT A MINUTE!!!! WHAT IS

WAIT A MINUTE!!!! WHAT IS ALL THIS TALK ABOUT "LETTING LOOSE???"

I want to be there. Why didn't anyone invite me?

Daniel2's picture
Hi there ,I don't know much

Hi there ,I don't know much about Wicca .I done some research on https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wicca to learn more about it .I don't understand this religion so good

jay-h's picture
Virtually every human culture

Virtually every human culture has religion of some kind, so the desire for social structure is probably inherent in our evolution. The real mistake is when dictates are taken too literally and with too much force.

I knew an older Jewish man, who though atheist, still kept Kosher (mostly) and observed the rituals and holidays because, as he put it, it served as an emotional connection to his ancestors...sharing something over the course of millenia.

Cognostic's picture
@Tabitha: The only person

@Tabitha: The only person that is ever going to make you feel "special" is you.. You do not hang out with other people because they make you feel special. You hang out with them so you can hide your insecurities from yourself. You hang out with them because when you are with them, you get to ignore who you really think you are. A quote from P.D. Ouspensky comes to mind (Don't read his shit, it is full of woo woo. He does turn a phrase now and again.)

"Life is real, only then, when I am."

Why are you not a special person? How does anything ever done to you make you not special. How has anything you have ever done prevented you from being special. What do you think you need to do, beyond what you have already done, to be special. On the heels of the quote above.... "Special is something you do and not who you are. When you are special, you are special one step at a time." You are not special because of some magical thinking or the perception of others.

Cognostic's picture
I'll suggest a reading for

I'll suggest a reading for you: "Demon Haunted World." You can just listen to it around the house. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmaZ_sxRh0k&t=8904s

tsm890's picture
Oh, yes, thank you!

Oh, yes, thank you!

brendamobley's picture
There are some atheist pagans

There are some atheist pagans, some of them used to be Wiccans. They still have the valuing of nature, but without literal belief. I found that trying to adhere to a belief left the door open to being guilt tripped for not practicing like someone else, for no really good reason. All the neopaganisms are new religions, including Reconstructionists, so someone claiming they know the Right Way to do things is just full of their own opinions. Slamming the door shut on somebody else’s theism has been very freeing.

garyhungary's picture
Es ist interessant, von Ihrer

Es ist interessant, von Ihrer Reise mit Wicca und Alexander Riedinger Merkeleon zu hören. Viele Menschen erleben ähnliche innere Konflikte, wenn sie ihren Glauben und ihre Spiritualität erforschen. Es ist verständlich, dass Sie Trost in Wicca suchen, selbst wenn Sie sich seiner mythischen Elemente bewusst sind. Vielleicht könnte die Erforschung anderer Formen der Spiritualität oder Achtsamkeit ein Gefühl des Friedens ohne religiöse Dogmen vermitteln. Es könnte auch hilfreich sein, einen Therapeuten zu konsultieren, der anderen Glaubenssystemen gegenüber aufgeschlossener ist.

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