Well, I've had my first taste of America's famous "Door-To-Door" religion salesmen/women.
I had a man and a woman, both well dressed in what you would normally expect to find religious people wearing on Sunday. They(seemed) to be nice folks. At first. The conversation goes as follows.
Man: Hello, friend. We would like to invite you to join the Unity Church of Christ.
Woman: Yes, it's the best place to worship our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Man: Come, my fellow man. Let us rejoice in the spirit of the Lord!
Me: I'm afraid not.
Man: What prevents you from seeking the guidance of the Lord?
Me: I'm an atheist.
Man: Oh, that's nothing to worry about. We except homosexuals too.
Me: I think you have the wrong definition.
Woman: What do you mean?
Me: I'm an atheist. That means I don't believe in God.
(Cue horrified stares)
Man: Come brother, we must cleanse you of this satanic influence!(At this point, he actually tries to grab my arm and pull me outside)
Me: Let go of me!
Woman: I'd you don't repent for your sins, you'll go to hell!
Me: Do you always threaten people to join your cult?
(Cue "Looks That Could Kill")
Woman: You will be punished in the name of the Lord! (They start walking away)
Me: Tell the rest of your fellow zealots that the next time they walk onto my private property, I'm calling the police.
Man: The police can not stop the truth!
(They get in their car and leave)
I left out their "Parting Snark" about Russians.
What a bunch of dicks.
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So... you're a gaytheist? LoL
That's one funny mistaken definition!
He actually grabbed your arm? Isn't that lawyer talk for "you can sue them for assault"?
Precisely, my good friend. My lawyer (whom I called 30 minutes ago) will likely agree.
WARNING. The Unity Church is a church that recruits people to join and to cede over all of their possessions.
Thanks for the warning, myk.
God neeeds money! He just can't handle the money!
Once I'm done, "God" *cough mony launderers cough* won't have a dime left, if I can help it. Religipus people milk others for all their worth, so I'll return the favor
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^Supposed to be "shifty eyes"
They did that?!
He even grabbed your arm?!
Seriously, the way I imagine them is like they look like Fanatics with dead eyes and speaking like robots.
Get out of that place!!!
I'm not going to let some rabid theists run me off my property. No. Way. In. Hell.
Oh, no no no, don't you dare do that.
I was just saying that in a funny way,
get your Lawyer or anyone that can help you and put them in place.
It would be good if you sue them and just drain them of all their Money, I mean, since "God" can't handle Money, it would be a good laugh for us Atheists.
You know, I'm just sayin'.
I had a Jehovah's Witless crew arrive on my doorstep recently. I just stared fixedly at them and said simply, "I've had a blood transfusion." Those god-goons usually have a script ready for every response, but that one rocked them. The looks on their faces as I slammed the door was priceless.
Be careful about suing your religidiots, though. There were two of them, and the commandment about bearing false witness is applied creatively by god-botherers.
Further information about the Unity Church. My great uncle was married for more than thirty years. My great aunt started going to church more and more. No one knew exactly which church she was going to. She was going to the Unity church. One day my great uncle came home and people were moving everything out. My great aunt had signed over everything, including the farm to the Unity church. My great uncle was immediately bankrupt and homeless. He shot himself 2 weeks later.
Guys, remember this story when someone says to you, "what's the harm (of religion)".
That's the kind of religious crap that makes me sick to the stomach.
They actually have a tax exempt racketeering business going, and they ruin peoples lives.
@MykCob4
My condolences, although no Religious money-grabbers have visited me.
My Mom's family was persecuted during Communist times for having Lands which were immediately taken away, if that goes anywhere near.
The feeling of having such people around you must be truly disgusting.
Religion is just a tool right? We shouldn't even be surprised.
People saying that sometimes people Abuse Religion is just hilarious, don't they get it? Religion was never Abused with, it was always being Used.
I am lost for words. These people are as Sadistic as their God.
When I was living in Long Beach, California, a couple of guys in suits came to my door. At first they did all the talking. But soon I was doing all the talking. I could swear that one of them was breaking a sweat! Shortly thereafter they discovered that they had to be on their way!
At another time and place I was in a shopping mall sitting by myself at a table. Two ladies from Northern Europe asked if they might join me. I said sure. Soon, they got around to religion. But they were very nice about it, not at all shocked when I told them I was an atheist. None of this strong-arm stuff. So, we had a nice, long chat and I recommended a book for them to read, and they recommended a book for me to read. We finally parted in good spirits.
My encounter with Jehovah's Witless was amusing (at least to me). Just out of college I shared a small home with two other guys. One Saturday night we had a bunch of people over. Sunday morning I stumbled into the living room, literally wading through empty beer cans. In a corner, an unidentified guy mostly undressed still asleep/passed out. I plopped in a chair in just my jockeys, like my 2 housemates, groggy and hair standing straight up. Cue the doorbell. housemate opened door, smacking lips and scratching his butt. Two women in below the knee dresses clutching Watchtower mags. Their eyes grew large as they gazed through the gates of Hell into this den of iniquity. After a couple steps back, they turned and fled, skirts fluttering in the wind.
My fave was answering the door to some jw's with one of my snakes wrapped around me. I gave them a bug-eyed, satanic smile and they left, uh, quickly without even leaving the watchtower.
I need to make a mental note to acquire a snake and practice my satanic smile.
This is horrible.
I am glad i have not experienced an event like that.
Hmm Unity Church of Christ.. Will search up on what they believe.
EDIT:
It describes itself as a "positive, practical Christianity" which "teach[es] the effective daily application of the principles of Truth taught and exemplified by Jesus Christ" and promotes "a way of life that leads to health, prosperity, happiness, and peace of mind."
Uhhh.
That proves it, sometimes it's best not to trust the wrappings of a product.
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