Hey, so I'm not Christian or Catholic, or anything really, I'm open to the possibilities of things sure, but that doesn't mean I think Jesus is rising again or whatever. I'm in the middle of reading Conversations With God, and it's actually really enlightening, it's kind of fascinating, but anyway that's besides the point.
So, I'm dating a Christian. And not like 'I believe vaguely' no I'm talking like he's repenting and trying to be a good Christian and he preaches conspiracies, he's been with like twenty women and recently he smoked a lot of pot, he's still doing it (like how hypocritical). Anyway, I guess in June he paid and slept with a stripper and decided he needed to clean up his act. He's infuriating, I can't reason with him, I can barely talk to him without him thinking the things I say are immoral, he tried to 'save me' once and then I dumped him, then we got back together and it's just frustrating.
I just need to know how I can shut down his 'Jesus is coming and he's the only way to God - the end is near!' bullshit, I truly like him as a person, I just know he's totally confused and conflicted with his faith.
Any advice? I'm literally desperate.
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Hi
(Your topic ended up in the Site Support section, so people might not notice it right away. It should probably be moved by a moderator to the Atheist Hub).
The problem is that making him see reason is most likely not a quick procedure and you already sound very frustrated, making it harder to be patient.
From the short description, he sounds like he has major problems in self control. I think you should really ask yourself if you like him for the right reasons and if you really think he's worth the hassle.
If you do think he is worth it, I can think of two strategies that *might* work:
* Become very decisive and clear: "If you want to be with me, then you have to stop this exaggerated religious nonsense and your [insert what you want here] behavior. Take it or leave it!". Don't demand an answer right away, give him time to absorb it.
(Downside: This strategy has of course the risk of you two breaking up on the spot)
* Read the book "A Manual For Creating Atheists" by Peter Boghossian. The title is corny, but he has good tips on how to talk to people with unfounded faiths, in a non-threatening way. He named the method "Street Epistemology". You can also try to learn about S.E. by reading about it and watching videos about it, just google it.
(Downside: Takes time and patience and still has no guarantee to work.)
I can move this to the Hub, however, Jess will not be able to respond to any posts there. I will move it to the Debate room in just a bit.
Apologies for taking so long to move this. Dealing with a couple of distractions.
- "Jess will not be able to respond to any posts there."
Good thinking. I didn't even consider that.
Jess, my advice would be to have your antennae up about this guy. It might be a good idea to give him some privacy to work out his issues. Sounds like he thinks he has considerable work to do. Once he feels he has his act together and if you then are still compatible, great.
@olimjess....
From my point of view...I think you already know the answer......
Look at what you posted.....
He's infuriating,..................................................................... he annoys you.
I can't reason with him,........................................................ he is unreasonable
I can barely talk to him without him thinking the things I say are immoral,.................... his faith renders you unable to communicate
he tried to 'save me' once ....................................................he sees you as incomplete/damaged/ in need of improvement/repair.
and then I dumped him,...................................................... you saw & wanted a way out
then we got back together...................................................I have to ask why ??
and it's just frustrating........................................................It is now...and it will continue to be so ...
It can & will only get worse....
If you stay you're going to be in competition...................................only it won't be with a blonde , a redhead or a brunet .....
You are in competition with his invisible fiend.....
the one he thinks is perfect...
the one he thinks can provide him with everything...
all the answers.....
the one who will never ,ever let him down ....
How are you going to compete....??
Sorry to be so negative .... but like I said ....I think you know all this anyway ....
@oiimjes
Like you know, er uh hey uh your boyfriend really slept with a stripper? Wow. The big thing is that you stayed with him. Seems to me that this guy is really immature AND a colossal hypocrite. The thing is that YOU have to have the maturity to know what you want out of a relationship. You can't ignore the transgressions of your boyfriend and just accept it unless you want that kind of relationship.
You shouldn't seek advice on how to "shut him down". You should find someone who respects you for who you are. If he sleeps around he doesn't respect you. If he pays to sleep with strippers, he doesn't respect himself.
My advice? Dump him. Find a more suitable and mature match. Otherwise just keep getting hurt waiting for him to grow up. Which may never happen.
Its true .... You need to Dump him....
God comes later.... Save yourself first.