Hello everyone! I come to you for a bit of relationship advice and wisdom. My question is, can an Atheist and Christian be in a life long relationship together? I'm curious because I know that Christian's love god more than their significant other, and I know that Athiest love their significant other just overall. So with that in place, and without it in place, can that relationship work?
Subscription Note:
Choosing to subscribe to this topic will automatically register you for email notifications for comments and updates on this thread.
Email notifications will be sent out daily by default unless specified otherwise on your account which you can edit by going to your userpage here and clicking on the subscriptions tab.
@HumbleDragon: I cannot speak for others, but my mother is atheist and my father was a believer all his life. I don't think that's an impediment to a relationship, unless the believer fanaticises their beliefs in the couple, or tries to impose them on their children.
I can't fully agree as someone who has had a combination duo myself for parents.
Yeah, the relationship has worked out but my mother always has and still does impose her beliefs on the children who are now well into adulthood. That said, my father goes to church with her every weekend and on these so called holy days even though he uses this time to sleep. My father has always been open about his feelings but made an agreement with my mom over 60 years ago that he would help her try to raise us in the catholic faith and the household would at the very least observe her beliefs like no eating meat on Friday's during lent while still retaining his ability to reflect his honest opinions with us should we ever ask for them. This meant sending us to catholic school, CCD and going to church with us while still retaining his ability to be honest with us if any questions ever popped up.
What it really comes down to is the ability for the couple to love each other for who they are and respect each other regardless of their individual beliefs. Both sides can be an impediment without mutual respect for each others opinions beliefs feeling ect. In my fathers case, he thinks we are smart enough to think for ourselves and thus did not fear religious indoctrination.
Out of all 6 of us, 2 turned out religious but 4 still saw the value in a catholic upbringing. I'm not one to agree that a catholic upbringing is a good thing, personally thinking the bad outweighs the good but I do see some value in learning about the religion and quite frankly at least one of the schools I went to was way better at education than public school.
Attachments
Attach Image/Video?:
@Zaphod: I don't think my father and mother had an agreement on about religion, I think my father had his beliefs and my mother didn't. My father went to church and prayed every night, but he never tried to impose his beliefs on the family. My mother never went to church, except for a wedding, baptism, or funeral to which they invited the whole family, and she never told us anything about religion.
My brother and I went to catechesis and made the first communion because most of our friends did, not because my father tried to encourage us and neither my mother did anything to discourage us. Today my brother and I are atheists.
I have a niece who has never had any contact with religious rites of any kind, except for parties, although of many religions and cultures, and I don't see that she has any interest in religions, or wants to start praying.
My brother had a problem with a teacher at his school who tried to make the children do Christian prayers before starting the class and the management of the center expelled him. The girl was the first surprised by the teacher's abnormal attitude and so she let her father know.
I see no advantage in teaching religion in schools, quite the opposite.
Personally I believe that, in your case, your parents reached a tacit agreement about who would take care of the education of the children, our case was different.
Humble...if you maintain this relationship and decide to enter into marriage and / parenthood with each other, for gawds' sake, get a pre-nup written up. I'm not talking a merely financial contract, I'm talking life details like whether there will be religious education for children or what to do if one of you is offered a job in another town. What pre-nups do is force you to talk about the real future instead of just riding on emotions. Religion is just one part, and frequently it isn't the part that causes the biggest rifts in relationships.
As I was reading through the five posts (including the opening post) preceding mine, it appears to me that once again that the whole issue is that morality comes from god -- any god -- and that without a belief in a god all of mankind are nothing but serial murdering heathens. Why else would it be critical, especially in a theist-atheist parental household, for the children to be required to attend church, etc.?
I reject this god-equals-morality mentality and belief with every cell in my body! I spent the first 29 years of my life under the chains and propaganda of Xtianity. Under those "saintly" conditions, I witnessed time after time extreme hate, violence (verbal and physical) against women and children, extra-marital affairs (including clergy), lie after lie after lie, deceit and theft. So do NOT give me the god-equals-morality line of "alternative facts" and propaganda -- IT'S ALL A LIE!!!
Furthermore, forcibly subjecting children to this bullshit of a god and god-equals-morality is the REAL crime against humanity.
@mbrownec: I totally agree with you.
I feel like as long as you can both honestly still respect each other, and not push either way of thinking on the other you will be just fine.
A majority of people that "say" they are Christian are Christian mostly only in name. They don't give any real thought to a god or no god at all. They don't go to church on Sundays, and on the occasion they do, they do it out of guilt, a friend/family request, or a major holiday. They are too busy worrying about other things like job, raising kids, paying the bills etc. Many do not want to even get into the subject.
It is kind of like talking about death, most of us avoid talking about death until we are forced to deal with it, and when we do have to deal with it, we often times try to get through it quickly as possible and put it behind us. (Usually with the help of alcohol.)