Being a member of a Secret Underwater Mermaid Cult, I know that God dwells in the volcano vents at the bottom of the ocean. If you hold a seashell to your ear and you are high on shrooms, you can hear his secret message. Oh yea, And he is omnipotent, omnipresent, invisible and non-corporal, and he loves the little fishes. People who believe in my god get fishsticks on Fridays/ (Lets see if we can convert each other.)
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While not a Drow, I am an honorary member of the Court of Lolth. She is Queen of Spiders, and Goddess of the Underdark.
According to certain parts of the Lolth mythos, she is the sole creator of spiders, So, I will use theist logic to make my case:
P1: If Lolth exists, we should see spiders on the Earth throughout history.
P2: We see spiders all over Earth and throughout history
C: Lolth exists
Easy peasy!
Niiiice, some Baldur's Gate mythos. I approve.
In my personal theory of cosmology, Brane cosmology is the most appealing to me because it involves string theory. I like the TV show Big Bang Theory, and let's be honest here, Penny is one hot chick. How can I ignore anything that makes me feel good?
Makes my heart flutter > Penny > Big Bang Theory > string theory > Brane cosmology.
There, a perfectly logical connection between each point.
So we have multiverses, and since each one of them is busier than Walmart on a Black Friday, one god can not watch over everything. So each universe has it's own god. And since each universe is different, each god is different.
The trouble is that our universe got an autistic, psychotic, bat-shit-crazy Charlie Manson wanna-be.
Our god may have emotional issues, but at least it's entertaining. Who else would talk through burning bushes, flood the planet like a gamer hits the reset button, and stage wars just because?
And his name is Ralf.
Using your HeartFlutter™ Logic, I propose this.
Heart flutter> Benedict Cumberbatch> Doctor Strange> Marvel Comics Universe> The Universe ™ was created by six Infinity Stones. And New York can't catch a fucking break.
@David Killens: The trouble is that our universe got an autistic, psychotic, bat-shit-crazy Charlie Manson wanna-be.
That's why they gave our god a planet way out here on the edge of the galaxy instead of near the center with all the other godlike beings.
I already did this but since this thread popped up while talking to you about it Cognostic, I almost feel like it's for me.
My theory involves an observer. Just like the scientist that goes out into the bush and observes a wild animal, God doesn't want you to know he's there. It would mess up the whole system! He wants to observe you, on your own, with nobody watching so he can know exactly how you live your life.
Satan comes along and he has to make a fuss. Sort of like the guy that comes running up, not realizing that the animal is in sight and the other observers try to quiet him down before he spooks it. Satan has a book talking about a god and how he watches you all the time, every second of every day. God doesn't want that. He can't get a feel for what type of person you are if you think that a god is watching you all the time.
My evidence, err... argument? Everything that is in place right now.
So be sure to NOT believe in god so you don't mess up God's system! Tell the theists they are spreading Satan's will by trying to convince you that there's a god watching you all the time!
" I know that God dwells in the volcano vents at the bottom of the ocean."
ahh....aquaman...no no wait...its....poseidon....right?....no no..wait..ahhmm..its
kraken....its kraken.. yes..
Hey, Cog, are the mermaids topless? I hate those goofy looking seashell bikini tops. I like boobies.
are the mermaids topless?
oh..too bad T-ma-man...this is what mermaid actually looks like..
hahahah....this is from the movie "cabin in the woods"
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@Q Re: Mermaids
Eeeek!!! THAT'S a real mermaid??? Well, that's disappointing. Thanks for the heads-up, Q.
Sorry, Cog. If that is what your mermaids look like, I'm afraid I'll have to pass..... (Yes, even if they are topless.)
Aren't submarines more your type anyway?
@Jared Re: "Aren't submarines more your type anyway?"
Oh-holy-cow, dude. Soooooo many great replies to that. Difficult to choose. LMAO
But to answer your question.... Yeah, subs are okay, in general. But aircraft carriers are what really get me jazzed. Top Gun, BABY!!!
Mermaids don't actually exist. We catch fish on the weekends and then during the week chase ambulances to accident scenes. Whenever we can find a corps, we just attach a mermaid tale to it and toss it off the pier in a religious ritual taught to us by the spirit of the sea who speaks to us when we hold seashells up to our ears.
@Cog
So, no actual mermaids, huh? Hmmm.... Well, I suppose that ain't so bad. But are we issued seashells, or do we have to supply our own? And do these seashells have to be blessed or something for us to hear the Spirit of the Sea? Or maybe the spirit voice becomes more and more comprehensible with each beer and/or shot of rum one consumes around the Sacred Fire on the Beach?
BEER? We are shroooooming!
@Cog Re: Shrooming
Ayyyy...Groooooovy.... Far out, maaaan...
I actually have an irrational fear of drowning. Can we say god lives in the hydrothermal vents in Yellowstone? Then I won't have to go near the ocean. Or try to swim. Or pretend I like sea water.
I'm all for the beach volleyball though, I'll just watch at low tide.
Will that create a contradiction in our documentation?
Since I work there, I cannot say god is in the hydrothermal vents, but if you listen to the sounds, you can hear some fairly good ideas...
rmfr
@Tin-Man
Sorry Tin-man. We have to tie you to the net on the volley ball court and starfish you to death for blasphemy. And if you keep making posts like this it will be the death of a million sea urchins. They aren't a big as starfish and their quills have stinging poison in them. Your suffering will be great. Convert now and put on that bathing suit or suffer under the volley ball net.
@Cog
*licking the window in the back of a police car*.... Duuuude! The snozzberries taste like snozzberries! *annoying hyena laugh*... Aw, maaan... These shrooms are awwwwesome. Huh-huh-huh.... Hey, man, didgew say sumpin 'bout vollyball? Cooool.... *stupid grin on face*... Oo-oo-oo! Hey, can I, like, be the NET, man? *getting excited* Ya know? I can, like, stand there, like, with my arms out wide, an' you all can, like, ya know, hit the ball over me! Yeah! Awesome! *annoying hyena laugh*... Oh, and-and-and, hey, I can wear like some of those 3-D glasses, man, so it looks like the ball is, like, comin' right at me, ya know? Faaaar ooout! Huh-huh-huh.....
So, hey, man, the po-po says I, like, gotta go visit their pad for awhile, dude. But hey-hey-hey-hey, listen.... shhhh...shh-shh-shh... listen...*giggle*...Look, man, when I get out I'll buzz by my place - (huh-huh, I said, "buzz". huh-huh) - and grab, like, my g-string and pasties, man, and, like, you know, meet you at the beach. Cool?.... *suddenly waving hands in front of face* Awww, maaaan... How did all these butterflies suddenly get in here?