This one comes from Seth Andrews...
The perfect summation statement of the purpose of Christianity:
Jesus: Knocks on door.
Person: "Who's there?"
Jesus: "Jesus."
Person: "Prove it."
Jesus: "Just let me in."
Person: "Why?"
Jesus: "So I can save you."
Person: "From what?"
Jesus: "From what I am going to do to you if you don't let me in."
The one who threatens to torture us has come to rescue us.
Yeah, makes a lot of sense to me.
Well, theists. Anything to add?
rmfr
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Jesus: Knocks on door.
Person: "Who's there?"
Jesus: "Jesus."
Person: "*arabic talking*..yalla..yalla...get my AK47.." *cluck*
Jesus: alright...alright...i'll just move on to another house, were cool ok?..chill bruh..
Knock Knock
Whose there.
Jesus.
(Yelling) Honey, the take out is here!
Knock Knock
Whose there
Jesus
(Yelling) Dammit! I just got the bloodstains off the door from your last visit.
Knock Knock
Whose there
Rapture
I told you I don't want any.
Knock knock
Whose there
Peanuts
(Yelling) Honey, the Mormons are here again.
"the Mormons are here again."
i miss read it cog sorry, i thought you said "the morons are here again"..hahahah
What's the difference?
God: *knock-knock*
From inside the house: Who's there?
It's God.
God who?
You know. GOD.
Okay, but which one? Zeus?
No.
Odin?
No.
Is it Shiva?
NO!
Loki?... Buddha?.... Aphrodite?...
No. No. No.
(four hours later...)
Hermes?.... Apollo?... Delphi?...
God: *sitting on porch with his back against the door*.....*deep sigh*.... No, no, aaaaand NO.
Oh. Well, uh, how about Osiris?... Amun-Ra?....Geb?..... Shu?....
God: *stands up and dusts off robe at his behind*..... *looks at door with annoyed expression*..... Awww, screw this.....*walks away from house impatiently*...
From inside house: Isis?.... Adonis?.... Eros?.... Athena?....
"The Two Thousand Year Old Virgin" . Coming to a theater near you!
Is being a virgin a bad thing? I guess I should be ashamed of myself since I am almost 18 years old and I never really had sex with anybody, I am a virgin.
@Michael
What's to be ashamed of? Nothing wrong with being a virgin, dude. I've known people who have gone much longer than eighteen. It'll happen when it happens, my man. No biggie.
According to Chimp, being a virgin is considered funny. All it does is remind me of how much I hate myself.
@Michael Re: Chimp and virgin
Young man, you have a very strange way of misinterpreting things. Fairly certain Chimp was making fun of the whole Jesus nonsense. Not everything is about you, big guy.
You know, I was a virgin, excepting masturbation, until my honeymoon. I was almost 21.
Damn, that was such a drag.
rmfr
If you need to use the qualifier really to say you never had sex; then you probably had sex. :P
@ Nyar and Michael
Even if you only had sex with yourself, you are no longer a virgin...pat yourself on the back. At least you can be honest whilst most of your mates cannot...
Knock, knock.
Honey, someone's at the door.
[Creak], hi, can I help you ? . . . {Oh honey, it's some drunken bum}.
Yesh, I'm Chesus.
The Christ Jesus ?
Nah, Kraft Chesus.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Mo
Mo who?
Mo ses open the fuken door.
Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Jesus, I'm alive.
- Oh, shut up, cocky. Do you think you know better than the doctors?
Knock knock
Who's there
Yahweh.
Gesundheit!
disagree.
Knock knock
Whose there.
Dwain
Dwain who
Dwain the blood from my lungs before I suffocate.
Knock knock.
Whose there.
Annie
Annie who
Annie thing you can do I can do better
Knock knock
Whose there
Ya
Yah who?
Wea! (I love doing that!)
Knock knock
whose there?
Voodoo
Voodoo who?
Voodoo ya love baby....
Knock knock
Whose there"
Jamaica.
Jamaica who?
Jamaica mistake if you don't let me in.
Knock, knock
Who is th---
Race condition!
Knock knock
Who's there?
Noah
Noah who?
Noah way to fix these holes?
Knock knock! Who's
There? Allah!
Allah who?
Allah these holes really hurt.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Dozen
Dozen who?
Dozen this knocking bother you?