One thing I HATED about church was those stupid prayer requests!

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vaporwave's picture
One thing I HATED about church was those stupid prayer requests!

Week 1 - "Please prayer for me, I'm going to have out patient surgery on my knee. Will also be getting stitches."

Week 2 - "Tomorrow is when I go in for the surgery, if you don't mind continued prayers for me. Thanks!"

Week 2.5 - "Just got done with the surgery. Have a little pain. Please pray for the pain. It's not bad though."

Week 3 - "They will be taking out the stitches soon. Pray for God's hand on the Dr."

SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

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Tin-Man's picture
@Vapor

@Vapor

LMAO.... Oh, dude! I had totally forgotten about those! You are sooooo right! Use to bug the shit out of me at the end of the church service when the preacher would ask for prayer requests. Sometimes it would add an extra twenty minutes or more to the whole thing. So many times I just wanted to stand up and yell, "Dammit, people! Shouldn't God ALREADY KNOW about this shit???" Thanks for that reminder!.... *still laughing*...

vaporwave's picture
lol you're welcome!

lol you're welcome!

LogicFTW's picture
@v a p o r w a v e

@v a p o r w a v e

Can you imagine victims like those at the Pittsburgh synagogue?

Thousands upon thousands of "we will pray for you" to the families and community that lost so many people that day or family members with crippling life long injury? They lost people, to senseless hate equipped with ar-15 while they prayed to their god in their "god's house." Now there have been some: go-fund-me and the like created to help pay for funeral cost etc, but 99+ percent of what they get is "we will pray for you." As if that is somehow going to fix the problem.

How upsetting that has to be. They were praying to their god, then someone filled with senseless hate shot them all in a quiet suburb and all they get is "we will pray for you." And like history has shown, it will not budge the needle on sensible gun control, (even the surviving kids at Stoneman douglas high school in Florida, could not change the national narrative on gun control!) but it is likely the gun manufacturer will see a spike in fear based gun sales. All those people that died in that quiet Pittsburgh neighborhood will likely see nothing happen to prevent another such shooting as so many is busy instead saying "we will pray for you."

 
 

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arakish's picture
@ vaporwave

@ vaporwave

Dude. I have heard the same stories. LMAO! Everytime I was in that situation, I always said:

"Oh Shut the FUCK Up. You know your Damned God don't care about that shit. Read you faerie tale book."

Just saying that once to a person was enough that they never asked for me to pray for them. Or is it prey for them?

rmfr

Ramo Mpq's picture
I am glad Logic mentioned the

I am glad Logic mentioned the go fund-me page because I was going to say given the HUGE misconception people have about Jews vs. Muslims which is fueled by the media and even found its way to these forums (even though that thread is extremely ill guided and diseased with even more ignorant responses) . How ironic is it that the #1 go Fund-me page for the victims in Pittsburgh is started and ran by Muslims? I guess it’s only Ironic to those who do not know Islam and get all their information from the media. I do not know if I should say that I am shocked by the level of stupidity of the OP or just classify him as another pissed off anti-theist hiding behind his keyboard acting like a tough guy instead of going and telling the people asking for prayers what he or she really thinks. Most likely both.

arakish's picture
How ironic is it that the #1

How ironic is it that the #1 go Fund-me page for the victims in Pittsburgh is started and ran by Muslims?

I do not believe you. Prove it.

Plus the Jews do not need a website...

rmfr

EDIT: P.S. — just classify him as another pissed off anti-theist hiding behind his keyboard acting like a tough guy This definitely sounds and LOOKS familiar...

2nd EDIT: P.P.S. — Searching, Shut the FUCK Up. Your Allah don't give a damn either. REALLY Read your faerie tale book.

NewSkeptic's picture
Why the anger big guy?

Why the anger big guy?

We all know Muslims love the Jewish people and only desire to live in peace with them. That damn media again is only trying drive a wedge between the Abrahamic brothers and sisters. Thank Allah we have you to set the record straight!

I'm surprised you have time to post here. I thought you'd be out banging nine-year-olds to emulate the morality of the prophet (PBUH).

CyberLN's picture
SfT, you wrote, “How ironic

SfT, you wrote, “How ironic is it that the #1 go Fund-me page for the victims in Pittsburgh is started and ran by Muslims?“

If that’s fact, then setting up a go-fund-me page is NOT what is to be lauded. No, it’s actually using what ever money is collected for the support of those victims that would tell the real tale. And that remains to be seen.

Personally, I think go-fund-me pages are fertilized fields of potential, if not likely scams.

Sheldon's picture
IS it ever moral for a man in

IS it ever moral for a man in his 50's to rape a nine year old child?

What is the penalty for apostasy in Islam?

Can a horse ever fly?

IS it moral for consenting adults to have a loving physical relationship with members of the same gender, and if not what do you believe should be done to them?

It'd be nice if we actually got some information from a Muslim, but they refuse to give honest answers unfortunately.

arakish's picture
@ Sheldon

@ Sheldon

Hate to tell you this. They already know the answers, they just won't admit them. To do so would completely destroy the fantasy they love so much.

rmfr

Sheldon's picture
"another pissed off anti

"another pissed off anti-theist hiding behind his keyboard acting like a tough guy instead of going and telling the people asking for prayers what he or she really thinks."

Can you really be too thick to still grasp this an atheist forum? If you don't want to hear atheist's viewpoints, then don't come here, your moronic superstitious verbiage won't be missed.

"I am shocked by the level of stupidity of the OP"

And it is your straw man red herring that is mind numbingly stupid, as it has no relevance to the OP at all, and it is you who as always come across as an angry chippy theist, who has to come here and spit his bile at atheists, then act as if they are harassing him.

Is it ever morally acceptable for a man in his 50's to rape a nine year old child?

Can a horse ever fly?

What is the penalty for apostasy in Islam?

Is it immoral for consenting adults of the same gender to marry and have sex?

Cognostic's picture
One of my favorite YouTube

One of my favorite YouTube videos was a man shot in the neck whose neighbor was praying over him. The man died. I'm sure it did not last long. Here the guy is, shot in the neck and bleeding all over the place when he neighbor arrives and begins yelling to the sky, "Jesus in your name save this innocent man, lay your hand upon him, bless this man and bla bla bla bla.... It went on and on and on and the man died. The asshole could have applied pressure, called for help, anything but stand there and talk to the wind. One video can ruin your whole day.

No study on prayer demonstrates that it works better than chance. The last big study on cancer patients showed that patients who knew they were being prayed for did worse than those who did not know they were being prayed for and those that had no prayer at all.

NOTHING FAILS LIKE PRAYER.

A really funny story is that the Mormons can pray for and baptize the dead. Well ... as it turns out, they were praying for and baptizing dead Jewish Holocaust victims. The Jewish community discovers what the Mormons were up to and threw a hissy-fit. Funniest conversations in the world, Jews and Mormons arguing about converting dead Jews to the Mormon faith. The Jews were not happy and insisted the Mormons desist. What a crock of BS.

Study on intercessory prayer:
RESULTS:
In the 2 groups uncertain about receiving intercessory prayer, complications occurred in 52% (315/604) of patients who received intercessory prayer versus 51% (304/597) of those who did not (relative risk 1.02, 95% CI 0.92-1.15). Complications occurred in 59% (352/601) of patients certain of receiving intercessory prayer compared with the 52% (315/604) of those uncertain of receiving intercessory prayer (relative risk 1.14, 95% CI 1.02-1.28). Major events and 30-day mortality were similar across the 3 groups.

CONCLUSIONS:
Intercessory prayer itself had no effect on complication-free recovery from CABG, but certainty of receiving intercessory prayer was associated with a higher incidence of complications.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16569567

closetedskeptic's picture
And when nobody has any

And when nobody has any requests, but the pastor just keep on pushing, until people break under the weight of the awkward silence and come up with something lame like "unspoken" or "some person I know isn't saved".

Fun times, amiright?

Tin-Man's picture
@Closet Skep Re: "And when

@Closet Skep Re: "And when nobody has any requests, but the pastor just keep on pushing..."

Oh, hell yeah! Your preacher did that too? So friggin' annoying! Do they all get taught that at preacher school or something?

Oh, here's one for ya. At the end of service before the prayer requests..... the dreaded Altar Call!... *cue dramatic music snip*...

The final high-spirited hymn of the morning has been belted out from the souls of the congregation, leaving everyone in a divinely Utopian religious fervor! When suddenly the organ music plummets to a low and somber beat with the choir singing in a hushed whisper, "He walks with me... and He talks with me... And He tells me I am His own..." Then, after a few perfectly timed beats of dramatic pause, the preacher begins his earnest heart-wrenching pleas....

"I know there are many here today who have heavy burdens weighing on their hearts. But, brothers and sisters, you do not have to carry those burdens alone. Praise Jesus! Because our loving Father - the Great Lord Almighty - wants to help lift those burdens from your shoulders. Praise Jesus! And all you have to do is ask Him, brothers and sisters. Yes, all you have to do is come up here this morning.... bend your knees in humble surrender... and ask the LORD ALMIGHTY to take your troubles AWAY and lighten your soul. Praise Jesus!...." (yadda-yadda-yadda...)

And this would go on and on and on until somebody finally went, "Oh, ALRIGHT already! Geez, I'll go up there and kneel and pray! Anything to get us out of here quicker!" Because the preacher was NOT going to stop until at least ONE person ambled down the aisle to go kneel at an altar and beg an imaginary being to handle their problems for them. "Dang-it, dude! Wrap it up, already! There is a trampoline at my buddy's house calling my name! I got some serious jumping to do!"

arakish's picture
@ Tin-Man Re: "The Dreaded

@ Tin-Man Re: "The Dreaded Altar Call"

Yeah. I finally broke down and did that. And the only reason I did it was the great unmentionable "cessation of the physical and psychological torture and terrorism." Now that I think back, I wonder what the reaction would have been when the Pastor came down and asked us to the tell the congregation why we decided to get "saved" and instead of saying something like (can't truly remember what I said exactly but...) "Because I love my lord Hey-soos for dying for my sins." Of course I got corrected on the pronunciation. But what would it have been like if I had said, "I got saved because I do not want you beating my ass every Sunday because I asked questions you could not answer." Now THAT would have been such a hoot!

rmfr

closetedskeptic's picture
@Tin-Man

@Tin-Man
They must all take a mandatory course on how to waste as much of people's time as possible. Though I suppose it could be considered extra naptime for some.

Preacher school? No no no, *shakes head in disappointment* Bible College. A prestigious establishment that assists strong godly men in their journey to become pastors, spreaders of light and truth. And helps pure godly women to become, ummmmmmm, low key missionaries I guess? Oh! That's where they meet their godly man hubbies! Almost forgot.

No altar calls, thankfully. Just the daily children's story that always ends with "trust Jesus as your saviour boys and girls" and a reminder to meet the pastor or assistant pastor in either of their offices if you don't want to go to hell. Which is kinda funny because it's directed almost solely at children, but they always told us kids can't go to hell.

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