As we grow old and settled in our ways, many of our long time friends and neighbors cash in on their equity and move away. Good for them I say. Enjoy your retirement. Downsize, cash in, and live out the rest of your life in relative comfort.
The problem is that someone has to buy that house. That someone could be someone that has no concern or consideration for others. The usual new buyers are people that are upgrading their lifestyle (living just above their means), and considerably younger than most of the other neighbors. That shouldn't make that much of a difference, but it does and here's why.
Younger means louder and inconsiderate. Their whole goal is to PARTY. Their parenting skills are basically absentee, or they just join in and act just like their teenagers wishing they were still teenagers. Every holiday, every weekend becomes a test of one's tolerance and patients.
Every sold home becomes a crap shoot as to who will move in. There is no solution to this situation. If you politely ask the new neighbors to please quiet it down, you are automatically an asshole. They usually quiet down for at most 20 minutes and exponentially ramp up the noise to an intolerable din. You may resort to calling the police, which garners retaliation in one form of another. So what do you do. Well I do both.
I become the asshole by requesting them to "party" quieter, and eventually I call the police. A few weekends in a row it seems that I am harassing the newbies, but actually it is I that is harassed. People have to realize that freedom only extends to the length of ones arm as Oliver Wendell Holmes stated it. Holmes said "The right to swing my fist ends where the other man’s nose begins." Many say it is a generational thing, or that their are so many more people in the world today that one has to expect less privacy. Even in one's own home. I say "BULLSHIT"! Consideration is not generational and if you can't expect peace and quiet in your own home than there is no point to having a home at all. we should all live in squad bays like I did when I was in the USMC.
Subscription Note:
Choosing to subscribe to this topic will automatically register you for email notifications for comments and updates on this thread.
Email notifications will be sent out daily by default unless specified otherwise on your account which you can edit by going to your userpage here and clicking on the subscriptions tab.
Mykcob, I hope your not expecting me to be a part of this demographic.
Note : It's Keeper. I've changed again.
I have no idea of who's right or wrong in the situation to which you refer, Myke. I don't think anyone on this Forum has any way of knowing so you risk just sounding a bit grumpy about life in suburbia.
How do we (in democracies) determine where the bounds of 'reasonable' are?
If neighbours in the UK disagree about noise levels it is left to the local authorities to decide. The complainant simply produces evidence to the authority and they take action they think is appropriate. How well that works varies according to the efficiency and good sense at the local authority level. Police officers help in extreme cases where it could amount to a breach of the peace.
One way to a quiet life is to move to a retirement community or out of suburbia, or at least to a detached house away from the densest concentration of suburban population.
Myke wrote: "Younger means louder and inconsiderate." Lol! You don't live near a lot of old bones where I do. I usually find the younger generation to be better educated and more considerate on the whole, but empathy and manners aren't really generational things in my experience. Maybe its a matter of locale?
(Sorry if you were looking for more supportive relies. At least I replied! :-)
"Younger means louder and inconsiderate."
Nope. No it doesn't.
"Their whole goal is to PARTY."
Hmmm...really? All of them???
"Their parenting skills are basically absentee, or they just join in and act just like their teenagers wishing they were still teenagers."
There are at least 15 younger neighbors on our street all with wee bairns. Exactly zero of them act like partying teens and all seem to parent their kids quite well. I love the sound of the little kids playing outside, whooping and laughing. My point is, you have made some pretty broad statements backed up by slim data.
Neighborhoods are organic...they change. Change is ineluctable. I hear the frustration in your voice. If the neighborhood is no longer to your liking you can continue to try getting it to fit your liking (which is not likely to work, escalate the situation, and cause increased frustration), or leave and join an older, calmer community.
I understand I made generalized statements regarding age. Of that I am guilty. Consider this however. In the days when I was young and "full of it", I was required by my parents to be respectful and considerate of others. These days the parents defer judgement to their children. These children are self entitled and irresponsible, just thinking of themselves. It's not that I am just a grumpy old man. Or that I come from a different generation. It's the fact that in the USA we have placed such a high value on youth, that all other generations are disrespected. This comes from large corporations (coke etc...) that have learned that they can systematically train younger generations to glorify their product. They target those age groups because it means a sustainable customer base. Thus they have created an environment of pop culture so obtrusive, so prevalent that no other group is valued. Kids today have no responsibility. They have no sense of work ethic or ethics at all. It's all about play and nothing else. Take the Toyota Tundra commercial that states "Play is the new work". That sends a message that work is not important, only play is important. This carries over to real life, everyday life. This is truly the "ME" generation although it started in the eighties. We have had 3 straight generations of the "me" generation, growing to a level that is dominant in USA society. Every holiday is an excuse to get high or drunk, to "raise hell" and be stupid.
One can party and be respectful of others. I know because I lived it.
When I was in the USMC at one point I became a Drill Instructor. Our first mission with new recruits was to mentally break them down, so we could build them up properly. To instill morality, ethics, honor, self esteem. The biggest obstacle that we faced was self entitlement.
When society caters to the youth and only the youth, society becomes irresponsible, ignorant, uneducated. Society seeks immediate satisfaction and gratification. It doesn't have nor does it set long term goals. The youth today are too mobile, have too much disposable income, and far too much free time on their hands. they are bored. They have no guidance. They aren't held responsible for their actions. This isn't just America suburbia where this has happened. It is taking over the world, emanating from corporate America. TV dumbing down America. Religion creating a bubble. Corporate America promoting irresponsibility, Schools not requiring students to be students, but rather great athletes, and self entitled popular personalities. Parents not disciplining their children and holding them responsible. The top academic students in the USA all come from minorities whose parents require their children to work and have self discipline. They aren't just natural geniuses.
Are values in this nation at least are misguided. When football is more important than math and science, english/language/grammar, and history there is a problem. When play is more important than work there is a problem. When getting drunk, high, and laid are the ultimate goal and nothing else matters, there is a problem. Now you may say that this has been going on for a millennia. You'd be correct, but there has always been a social devise to deal with it. It is called core values. I am not talking conservative/ republican values, or religious values. I am talking about real core values. Mutual respect, consideration, work ethic, academic education, those core values.
When guns sex, football, drugs, alcohol, and money are the most important things to a society, you have no society.
If people cannot have even the most basic respect and consideration for their neighbors, if people only care about themselves and immediate gratification, if we as a society glorify immediate gratification, if we as a society vilify work, ethics and responsibility, then we have no society.
And now I'm offended. Will someone do me a favor and send me a PM when this is over. I'm too PO'd to think straight right now. And as for you, mycob, maybe you should consider that there exist those of us that are more mature than our counterparts. There may not be many, but we are out there, and we don't appreciate people like you throwing us in with the rest of the group using wild generalizations.
Myke wrote: "When I was in the USMC at one point I became a Drill Instructor. Our first mission with new recruits was to mentally break them down, so we could build them up properly."
The perfect reason to never join the US military, in my opinion. It sounds a thoroughly warped and immoral concept.
"To instill morality, ethics, honor, self esteem." Instilled? Those attributes need to be inspired in others and demonstrated to them by those in authority. What is ethical, honorable and moral must be determined by all those in the military, including new recruits. It isn't determined by those in authority and "instilled".
Clearly, the British military and the US military have very different views on such matters.
Quote Oliver Cromwell: I had rather have a plain, russet-coated Captain, that knows what he fights for, and loves what he knows, than that you call a Gentleman and is nothing else. Unquote.
He was correct in that statement. He might have been a murderous and fanatical religionist and egomaniac, but he was politically acute and sometimes quite right.
You are way to mistrusting of methods of the USMC. First of all the USMC wants free thinkers not robots. People that are self sufficient. Breaking down people only gets rid of selfishness and teaches self discipline. People that are rash and seek immediate gratification are worthless to the Corps and to themselves. BTW Oliver Cromwell was by all accounts a murderer and a religious zealot. I prefer Chesty Puller who said I'll take fighters that are afraid to die and chose rather to make the enemy die.
Also, you, my good sir, sound like a theist. The military can only make one militaristic, not proper. Military style living is only correct for the military, nothing else. What is right, honorable, ect is determined by society, the people, not military or government. Your way of thinking is outdated and obsolete, mykcob.
Not so my young friend. My methods have worked for millennia. Military training doesn't make one militaristic. John Glen and Neil Armstrong were not militaristic and fine examples of USMC generals. Making Men out of boys really is just making people grow up and be responsible for themselves. Teaching people to take ownership of what they do.
One does not have to be broken into these things. I take ownership of what I do. Im not like a great deal of my compatriots. Not saying I'm the only one like me, but this majority rule you imply dosent apply to me. I'm not trying to be rude or anything here. Just don't appreciate being "lobbed in with the lot".
Hmm. Bit of a one-sided view of the younger set. I'm not an ex-jar but I am a veteran. I get the boot-camp psychology of separating mama's boys from usable soldier flesh. One doesn't need to put into uniform a cry-baby who craps himself at the first sign of harm and goes screaming into the night. So, the boot camp instructors who've been trained in basic psychological methods use them to cull out misfits and make them rear echelon support troops such as supply, vehicle maintenance and food service staffers. They perform much needed duties to the front line combat activities but are never close to the actual fighting. It's a win-win method of separating who has the mental make-up for which job, but all the jobs are important.
I work with a lot of 30-nothings and have to say that most are different in many ways than their preceding generation. For one, given a collective lunch room gathering, all will be found on their cell phones seeking mindless internet entertainment for the entire hour all the while giggling and snickering about stupid-humor they search for. Will they seek out answers to technical questions that apply to their chosen professions? I haven't seen it yet. With an internet rich with quick resolutions to workplace questions and challenges, not one of the technicians I work with has shown me an interest in furthering himself on his own time. In contrast, without the internet to gain quick answers, my own generation would spend the hour with technical manuals about the day's tasks while eating lunch. It wasn't for show. It was because that's what was needed to get the job done. What's the point? My generation got the job done faster because the knowledge was sought to accomplish just that. The current generation will do it but only if they're paid overtime. They do not realize bettering themselves for that one hour by doing rewarding research is worth more than a single hour's wage, and advantages themselves and the company. It's the "me" generation, without a doubt. And, don't stand in the doorway at quitting time because you just might get bowled over. They do not give of themselves but expect everything in return. That's partially a parenting set-back for them so I readily claim my share of the blame. That's 8 out of 8 employees over a two year period and quite representative of the causation of manufacturing jobs vacating for cheaper, yet smarter labor climes. Unions are also much to blame for the self-serving greed aspect of worker psyches.
I don't claim to have any experiences of behavioral disrespect from any generation. I'm the first to report the singular individual whose noise penetrates my home but I'm also lenient if I know it's an infrequent event party like a birthday.
You assume too much. We don't "cull" the ranks. We give the individual to become grown up and responsible. It has less to do with courage under fire and more to do with being a responsible mature individual. The USMC isn't like the other branches. The USMC values individuals. Yes we teach team effort and support, but more than any other branch we rely on individual thinking and action. The total number of MOH winners is about 3500, by percentage the USMC have by far won the most. That is an indication of individual capability, of think about more than just than themselves.
Is one seeking the advice and veiw points of his fellows not a useful way to spend ones time? Or is that a wast as well.
Of course the previous generation is responsible for the present generation. I don't find conservative and liberal cyclical. What I find is that successively generations in the USA have ignored or failed their responsibility in properly raising children for three straight generations. There is always rebellion among the youth, that's a given. However each generation still maintained a respect and knowledge of previous times. People born (in general) in the seventies on have no respect or knowledge. I attribute it to pop culture, misguided priorities like football, lazy and absentee parenting, and TV dumbing down America.
So NO ONE from the 70's to now fits what you call "properly raised"? Having been raised by a former Navy SEAL, I feel like I can say otherwise.
I didn't say that. I said I was generalizing. I spoke in trends. I also pointed out more than just parents are responsible for the present youth's abandonment of responsibility. Don't personalize everything. So your dad was a SEAL good for you. Funny how you generalized incorrectly that military training militarizes a person...it doesn't.
He must've got the short end of the personality stick then....... But he is my father, and i still respect him. Though I suppose you are correct. I shall retract my previous statements.
Seals are a special breed. I trained with them an saw combat with them. They don't brag, they don't boast, they just get the job done. A no nonsense personality is necessary for such a job.
I agree with you on that, and that wasn't nesseserily what I meant.
He literally has about as much personality as a rock.