Ok no I was wrong. I'm not fine. I'm fucked up for as long as I live in this country and in this family.
However, my parents say that they are ok if i apply for asylum to the USA. But I'm scared that if I apply for asylum and they call my parents for background information, they will fuck it up it like asking why they didn't kick me out of house and etc.
It's true that my life is always under threat here. If I revealed my atheism to anybody, I'll be beaten to death. I cannot go to any school because not a single day in a school goes by without anyone discussing islam. It's fucking torture. I'm also taking antidepressants to treat this depression which results from isolation.
I just don't understand how do I prove that my asylum is because of religious persecution.
I have NOT been beaten till now because I never revealed my atheism to anyone outside my parents and brother. But yes, when my mom talks about religion or when I ask her a question and she includes allah in it, I go nuts. When I go nuts, I start abusing islam and once my mom said to my dad that take him to the police.
If I land on the airport of USA on a visit visa, can any of you help me in staying somewhere? I also need someone to help me in the asylum application after going to the USA. I don't know where to go if i land there, I know nothing. I'm just 19.
Please help me, can any of you take the responsibility of helping me? Perhaps become my guardian
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@OP
So you are an Atheist living in Muslim household and Muslims country yet, no one other than your direct family knows you’re an Atheist, you have not been abused physically nor verbally by anyone, yet, you call this “religious persecution”? Do you even know what those words mean? Oh, and you’re whining about your mom telling you about her beliefs and makes you “go nuts” because it opposes your own view? Dude, you are the 100% embodiment of what’s known as a professional victim, stop whining, stop playing the victim and stop making crap up. Nothing you said is even remotely close to religious persecution. Your family seems to have respected you enough to keep your “secret” at home, and I do not know what exactly “go nuts” includes but, if it means breaking crap around the house and going crazy then yes, they should call the police on you for your crazy actions. Stop whining and act like an adult. The only accurate thing you said in your post is that “I know nothing”. How about try talking to your parents without going “nuts”? Try being civil, respectful, understanding if you actually want to be heard and try to make a positive difference in your life. Stop playing the “I need asylum” card for a situation that does not even remotely call for it. Your call for “asylum” is actually very selfish and degrading to those who are truly trying to flee any and all kinds of REAL persecution.
Edit to add
Oh, and by the title it seems your parents are accepting and have agreed to give you what you want by agreeing to leave you alone. Please point out where this crazy persecution has gone on?
Coming from a Muslim who does NOT live in a country that has the Death Penalty for apostasy.
Seek3r, you would do well not to listen to Mr. I Am Still In The X-Files.
rmfr
@Seeker Re: "But yes, when my mom talks about religion or when I ask her a question and she includes allah in it, I go nuts. When I go nuts, I start abusing islam and once my mom said to my dad that take him to the police."
Dang, dude. I can't believe that I'm actually gonna have to agree with the Hulkster on this. But he made a damn good point. Why would you "go nuts" just because your Mother mentions Allah and Islam? Sure, you are on antidepressants and are having some stress, but that really is no excuse. I hope you realize that is HER home, and in HER home she is free to speak about anything she wants. And if that bothers you so badly , then maybe you should go to another room or step outside and go for a walk. However, whenever you start "going nuts" in HER house simply because she is speaking her mind, then..... well, you should know you are in the wrong for doing that. To be honest, if you were to do something like that in MY house, you would probably be thankful if all I did was call the police. Because the other option would be that I call the medics for you after you had an "accident". Just sayin'... So, yeah, in this case, I have to agree with Hulkster.
Here's the thing, though, Seek.... Why would you let that bother you so much in the first place? You don't believe in Islam anymore, right? To you it is just a big joke now, right? So what does it matter what your Mother says about Islam? From my point of view it should not bother you at all. It should be no different than somebody discussing "Alice in Wonderland." Basically, you might want to keep these things in mind from now on should you ever get that urge to "go nuts" in your Mother's home. She is allowing you to stay there even though she does not agree with you. Might want to let that sink in a bit. Stay safe.
I suggest you earn money and move anywhere but where you are right now. I heard sweden is a secular nation, but I dont know for a fact. I understand your frustration, but you have to be smart and realize people will always talk about Islam or allah in your country. So be deaf, dont expect your mom to respect your atheist views, she is someone whos lived through convential views and you need to know there's a line between disagreeing with someone and trying to change them. Your situation could be worse. So dont make it worse.
My advice would be to quit "abusing Islam." As others have said, it's your parents' house, and you're in an Islamic country. It's foolish to rail against Islam if it would get you beaten or killed. You're not going to change anyone's beliefs. Keep quiet about atheism, and meanwhile work hard, save money, and plan to move to a new country.
Gotta Say, you are wrapped up in a vicious cycle. Nothing your mom says is affecting you in any way at all. We are back to 'INDIVIDUATION" again. Stop trying to control your mom. Leave her the hell alone. You do not get to say what comes out of her mouth. You are not her boss just as she is no longer yours. You want to be able to express yourself. You want to be an atheist. You want to have the freedom to do as you like and say what you want to say. SO DO THE REST OF THE PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY. LEAVE THEM THE HELL ALONE.
You made a break when you told them you were Atheist and to quit bugging you about it. Great, you are changing. THEY DO NOT HAVE TO CHANGE WITH YOU. They are the people that raised you and cared about you and fed you and have helped to make you who you are today. Whether they like the fact that you are an atheist or don't like it has nothing to do with you.. Their "stuff" (emotional or psychological or even religious issues) are not your stuff. STOP TRYING TO CHANGE THEM. You don't like it when they do it to you, so why do you do it to them?