My deconversion

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Jacob's picture
My deconversion

Well I am not really sure what I can say right now since I feel very strange. The feeling is not easy to describe But it feels for a long time 2 sides of me have been fighting and that battle has finally come to an end and the result is silence no grand liberation or realization just silence. Understand that this did not happen over night It was a long slow and painful process. There are still sometimes still things that draw me back like Near death experiences and miracles I will probably talk about that another time but I have come to the conclusion that there is no god and now I feel strange and I want to talk to somebody about it but I can't think of anybody I know that would want to talk to me about this that won't condemn me and that is why I am here to just get it out of my system.

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Truett's picture
Good for you, JacobCorneluis!

Good for you, JacobCorneluis! I too am surrounded by people who I am unable to speak with, which makes this forum so important to me.

My sense was that I "woke up" from religious belief; perhaps you feel the same. A world of discovery and wonder await. You'll probably enjoy studying the wonder of life and the universe as much as I have. Removing the distorted lense of religious dogma allows us to see what we were previously unable to perceive. Welcome to reality!

Chad Harpe's picture
I remember feeling that way.

I remember feeling that way. It feels weird for awhile honestly. What helped me (as I come from a very big Calvary Chapel family and couldn't talk to anyone also) was to start reading about the Cosmos, Geology, Biology etc. Over time I saw that literal account of Genesis was false, Evolutionary Biology is Fact and our existence here on this planet is a privileged one. I would recommend "Pale Blue Dot" by Carl Sagan, well anything by Carl Sagan honestly. Learning about the Cosmos has really brought me the most awe and comfort in my decision. I hope this helps :)

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BAACKJD's picture
Congratulations Jacob. As

Congratulations Jacob. As time goes by the hocus pocus of "miracles" will become less and less compelling.

Nyarlathotep's picture
JacobCorneluis - There are

JacobCorneluis - There are still sometimes still things that draw me back like Near death experiences and miracles...

From what I've seen at Atheist Republic from others, and in other places; this seems to be a rather common experience for those who are undergoing this transition. I'd just offer than NDE(near death experiences) and miracles are very similar to UFO abduction stories and monster sightings (Bigfoot, Loch Ness monster, and I'm sure there are similar stories in your part of the world). These stories are never well documented, often highly exaggerated, with details that are impossible to confirm, and never leave a shred of evidence. In short: they are only good enough to convince people who ALREADY believe in the phenomenon.

Anyway, I'm extremely impressed at your courage; going to school and university, and even questioning your religious upbringing. I really don't know what to say, other than you are amazing!

xenoview's picture
Welcome to reason Jacob.

Welcome to reason Jacob. Letting go can be a painful process, but a necessary one to do. I hope your path leads you to freedom.

Jacob's picture
Well I am going to try to

Well I am going to try to improve my English first because as you can see it needs some attention. I have no problem reading English only writing it mainly because I find the punctuation and the general flow of it confusing I guise its because there are no relations between English and my native tongue. do you know of any websites or apps that could help with that? Well if your interested I could also tell you abut a Tikoloshe a short mythical creature demon thing,some people build there beds very high against the wall so the Tikoloshe can't reach them.

Nyarlathotep's picture
I'm sorry that I can't give

I'm sorry that I can't give you much help with English, other than to say that it can be confusing even for native speakers; there doesn't seem to be much internal consistency in English. It is a confusing mess! So you shouldn't be worried that it confuses you.

After reading your post about the Tikoloshe, I started looking it up on the internet. Yes, this is exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about!

MCDennis's picture
Yes, de-conversion is a long

Yes, de-conversion is a long and painful process. It requires careful thought and intellectual honesty. Welcome

SecularSonOfABiscuitEater's picture
First of all congratulations,

First of all congratulations, that was big step in the journey and you have a lot of people here that have been through it to help you and talk to you. By the way I think your English is just fine. We have people right here in the U.S that are nowhere near your level lol honestly. If you would like... You can try the app duolingo. It has helped me out a lot. Memrise too.

Truett's picture
Jacob, I agree with

Jacob, I agree with SecularSOB about your writing. You write well, far better than MANY Americans I know. I've read your previous posts about Apartheid rule and your efforts to become literate. You are a complete success story; I consider you highly literate.

SecularSonOfABiscuitEater's picture
Yeah I remember the Apartheid

Yeah I remember the Apartheid post. You're always improving. Keep up the good work.

Jared Alesi's picture
I suggest a lot YouTube

I suggest a lot YouTube videos of Carl Sagan, and Neil Degrasse Tyson. The show Cosmos works wonders.

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