Marriage

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Ari Bendavid's picture
Marriage

I am writing after hearing once again in the media more whining from the christian evesdroppers and whiners. It was more of their intrusion into the private lives of the secular gay citizens who are married. I am one of said citizens.Somebody told them some story about a wedding cake a few years ago and they cant shut up about it. I lucked out on my affair. I wanted a Soviet style wedding and got one. My spouse and i took a couple hours off from the hospital job. We were in uniform. Went to the office at city hall with our license, met a clerk in a private room who swore us in. Then we returned to the hospital where we went to the canteen for a late breakfast. We went back to our posts and were congratulated by fellow workers. So simple, no god , no cake, no bible, no bullshit. From what i observe where i live, thats the way even straight couples get married if the marry in the first place. So if that bothers any christian it is too goddamn bad

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algebe's picture
In my experience, the bigger

In my experience, the bigger and fancier the wedding, the shorter and unhappier the marriage. My wife and I got married in a Tokyo registry office in 1973. We got a sermon about the intricacies of the Japanese registry system from a clerk in the office, signed the papers, and that was it.

I think it's self-doubt and insecurity that makes Christians so nervous about gay marriage. If you're sure of yourself and your relationship, what does it matter what other people do? Some of them get angry on behalf of of their god, who's such a weakling that it needs a bunch of uptight Bible Belt nonentities and morons to fight its battles. Others are profoundly offended that someone somewhere might actually be happy. And of course there are the ones who live in the closet, in constant fear that someone will see that they're what they seem. Sounds like hell to me.

Pitar's picture
Okay. I get the =/= regarding

Okay. I get the =/= regarding marriage but you can't saddle centuries of same sex preference rejection onto a current demographic and act all butt-hurt by it. It's not your place to call attention to it or invest your psyche pondering how you, they, we as a species split ourselves along moral boundaries.

For you, generalizing and contriving a global collective psyche to suit your purpose is exactly the sword you'll hurt yourself with. Everything beyond your personal business of how you please your genitalia is bullshit to you, meaning, if you cannot be accepted for where you dangle your Mr Happy then your reaction is to defend it and there we have the conflict. You draw your line in the sand and fully expect everyone to see and respect it.

Not so. You are the one with a busted bio. By that physical measure of nature you are an unnatural paradox, a misfit, a non-biologically contributing procreator to the species. How you metabolize that is your business but you do not have the privilege to make it anyone else's business, nor can you wave favorable legislation around as a manifesto all people must remake their morality to. They - anyone who is not of a same sex bent - do not accept you as their biological equal.

It's one thing to legislate equality within all known human contrivances called institutions, but it's a leap beyond that to be expected that all will be in acceptance of it. That's where morality branches off into an untold number of culturally-defined directions.

In your example you choose to strike out against the christians. That's because you know it's safe to verbally slay that dragon. In the middle east you'd be arrested, thrown off a multi-story building and stoned to death by your haters on the ground should you somehow survive the fall. There are many cultures who do not tolerate same sex relations and will take physical action against it.

Yes, it's tragic. So tragic in fact that I tend to hurt from the compulsion and thoughts needed to remind you and yours to be careful of a world that does not understand, embrace nor defend you. Be careful and be safe.

algebe's picture
@Pitar

@Pitar
"You draw your line in the sand and fully expect everyone to see and respect it."

I don't think Ariben is the one drawing lines in the sand. I haven't heard of gay people protesting or legislating against straight marriage and calling for it to be banned. What Christians do in the privacy of their homes and churches is their own business, but they have no right to impose their perversions on normal people by influencing government.

I was born into a world in which everyone was white, straight, Christian and spoke English. Tolerance wasn't necessary because we were all the same. I'm sure there was diversity, but it was hidden away underground. I was taught at home and at school to despise anyone not white, straight, or English-speaking.

I now live in a world filled with variety and difference.My world has become a patchwork quilt of christians, atheists, muslims, gays, straights. There are people around me speaking all kinds of languages. I speak several myself. In this new world tolerance is vital to happiness, success and survival. Tolerance will be the quality that separates strong, healthy societies from those that wither and fail.

I understand what you're saying about keeping safe. Oscar Wilde thought his fame made him safe, but ultimately his challenge to the mainstream broke his heart and ended his life. Alan Turing is another example. He saved countless lives by breaking the German enigma system, but he was hounded to suicide for the crime of being gay.

We all have a stake in the struggle for tolerance. As atheists, we're also in the theists' shooting gallery, right next to gays.

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