Joel Osteen

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Anonymous's picture
Joel Osteen

Last week Joel Osteen' Lakewood Church was robbed. Guess how much was taken......nope......no....try again......wrong. Just from the contributions from 2 day contribution from his 45,000 congregation-----$600,000. That does not include credit card or online "gifts". Many Christian preachers like Ken Ham or Ken Hovind or John Lennox or William Lane Craig, or Pat Robertson or Benny Hinn, Ted Haggard, Franklin Graham,(almost dead Billy Graham, Jimmy Swaggert,,John Haggee, Robert Schuller(dead),Jack Van Impe, Douglas Wilson, James Kennedy (dead),Jerry Falwell(dead), Paula White, Charles Stanley, Creflo A Dollar Jr.,John Piper, Robert Tilton and others make me mad or sad, or angry or bewildered or confused. But Joel Osteen ---well he really really really bothers me.. He really really bothers me. It is not that he preachers bullshit but it is that too- It is not that he takes advantage of poor or ignorant people with their money contributions, but it is that too. it is not that he preachers that if you believe in Jesus-God wants you to be rich. It is not what he does or believes or lies or says hurtful and stupid things -but it is that too. I guess it is really all those things but it his stupid grin and fake bullshit smile that really really bothers me. I am thinking of taking an atomic bomb to his Lakewood Church and placing it up his ass. This particular atomic bomb is unique that the whole force of the explosion stays within the person(Joel Osteen) it is placed and there is no damage except to within the person(Joel Osteen). After the bomb explodes Joel Osteen is exploded into a billion pieces. If I have trouble making the atomic bomb I will try something more benign to deal with my uncontrollable hate and unrelenting distain for Joel Osteen. I am having a little trouble with the atomic bomb so I printed a like size picture of Joel Osteen in my basement. I started with a tank, then a hand grenade, then a M16 automatic rifle, then a bow and arrow and everything destroyed the picture of Joel Osteen and my basement. I now have a new picture of Joel Ossteen and in order not to do more damage to my house---I spit at Joel Osteen face when ever I get the inclination. I spend more time spitting at Joel Osteen face than I ought to. I lost my job, my wife and kids divorced me because I was spending too much time spitting on Joel Osteen;s face. My wife said I need to see a psychiatrist. Maybe my wife is right but if I stop spitting on Joel Osteens face I may start building the atomic bomb again and then I will really be in trouble.

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Sompop's picture
I suggest you spit on his

I suggest you spit on his picture for now. It's better than an atomic bomb. But then u cut the number of spits day by day. Remember, if he preached bullshit, he's crazy, there's no sense in making urself as crazy.

ThePragmatic's picture
Sophop has a very good point.

Sophop has a very good point.
There is no point in going crazy over the bullshit of someone like Joel Osteen.

That said, why does a church need an armoured truck?
https://imgur.com/gallery/xTofoaS

Anonymous's picture
Pragmatic-Good to see you

Pragmatic-Good to see you again but relax I am not building an atomic bomb or throwing a hand grenade at a picture of Joel Osteen. I don't even have a picture of Joel Osteen to spit at. I am just expressing my anger and hostility when I see such fucking bullshit, corruption, and stupidity, and I need to express it. If my "horror" and anger at bullshit comes out in a "story" about building a bomb to put up the ass off Joel Osteen -it makes me feel good. If you want to be calm intellectual, "wordy", analytical, or passive about "things"-----ok good for you---But I am passionate about "things" and I need to express it-even if it is a story about putting a atomic bomb up the ass of Joel Osteen. I am just trying to be funny. Putting an atomic bomb in Joel Osteen ass is funny- don't you think. God Bless

ImFree's picture
Sounds like a stretch to me

Sounds like a stretch to me : )

ThePragmatic's picture
LoL

LoL

Anonymous's picture
Imfree-I am really tired of

Imfree-I am really tired of trying to be funny and you and others take me literally. Putting an atomic bomb up the ass of Joel Osteen is so totally and absolutely absurd and ridiculous that you would think "everyone" would laugh, smile, giggle, or enjoy the humor. But no-I get advise to curb my anger or "to stop getting angry" or chill out, or "there is no sense making yourself crazy. It blows my mind that I get advise to control my hostility about Joel Osteen and other morons like him. Yes Joel Osteen (and other assholes) like him make me want to put an atomic bomb up his ass. But my frustration about such idiots is no different than you. I just try to make a joke, be funny, or laugh. Joel Osteen is so obviously an idiot expressing myself with humor helps me "cope" with being on the same planet with such a hurtful asshole.

ThePragmatic's picture
Wow, Kenny.

Wow, Kenny.
When people don't get your jokes, you get pissed and ridicule them. When people do get them and continues the joke, you get pissed and ridicule them.
Perhaps you should just try to appreciate that people are answering your thread, without being pissed off at you?

Anonymous's picture
Pragmatic-You are right I am

Pragmatic-You are right I am so used to "everyone" not getting my satire or humor that when they do I am so surprised I "miss" that they are "goofing" on me. Why would anyone get pissed off at me when I am such a smart, adorable, handsome, perceptive, enlightened, interesting, rodeo star, ping pong player, champion Nathans hot dog eater, human being.

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