I was raised a Christian and up until my 40s I believed in a spiritual afterlife.
Now at 54 I’ve reached the horrifying understanding that the teachings of any religious entities are indisputably false.
The truth hurts and there’s nothing to be done about it.
I get why religion exists.
It’s comforting believing that we move on. It’s comforting believing our loved ones still exist in a conscious state and that they maintain awareness of those that they “leave behind.”
It helps keep the fabric of society together and helps us cope with both our own mortality and the loss of those we love.
But when you come to understand that once you or anyone you know dies that existence - or lack there of - is no different than how it was before you were born?
Holy shit it sucks. I hate it .
And there is no going back.
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@Ralph C: It helps keep the fabric of society together
Religion is a dividing force. Look at Iran-Iraq, Syria, Northern Ireland, Rwanda, and various other hells on Earth created by squabbling religious factions. Look at the Crusades, the 30 Years Year, the Huguenot massacres, etc.
no different than how it was before you were born
Unless you live a solitary life on an island, your existence affects everyone around you. Memories of you will continue long after you die. If you had children, your genes will continue, along with the influence you had on their upbringing and characters. Write a poem, do charitable work, express yourself. That's the only real immortality.
And when you were a Christian, did you really consider what eternal life really meant? As the late Christopher Hitchens observed, heaven sounds a lot like North Korea, where you spend every moment praising the Dear Leader for ever. Except that you can at least get out of North Korea by dying.
Zen Buddhism is worth trying.
A novice asked his master: "Master … what is the secret of the Universe?"
The Master leaned forward and slapped him round the face.
A few days later he asked his Master the same question again … and got a slap round the face.
So he went to a different Master and said to him: "Every time I ask my Master: 'What is the secret of the Universe' he slaps me round the face. Why does he do that?"
… and got a slap round the face.
So he went back to his first Master, leaned forward, and slapped him round the face:
"You don't know the secret of the Universe anymore than I do."
Two zen masters would sit at the same spot every day to meditate. One day one was late … so the other drew a picture of the Buddha in the sand where his companion usually sat. When the second master eventually arrived and saw the picture of the Buddha he sat away from it. The first master said: "Why did you sit over there?" The second Master moved and sat on the picture of the Buddha. The first Master asked him: "Why did you move?"
Many of the world's top scientists are into Zen stuff.
….
Take a deep breath. You're experience the loss of the emotional comfort you once drew from religious claims, but now don't believe are true.
In reality we already know that oblivion can't be experienced in any way, as our memories and the emotions we attach to them only stem from after our birth.
It might sadden me to contemplate losing those I love, or even to contemplate them losing me. However once we die we won't be able to suffer that loss. The party will go on, at least for now, but we won't be there. It's simply a fact that death is the price of admission for this ride.
Draw solace from loved ones and understand that this is all the more precious because it is finite.
Most of all remember it only seems from because you're comparing it directly to a fictional afterlife that isn't real.
Once your perspective shifts it will seem less of a loss, because the loss isn't real as it was based on unevidenced religious claims. Claims that outrage reason, and deny science.
Edited for typos.
You can always go back!
Interesting. I’ve never had any gods, lives other than this one, etc. I’ve also never felt any discomfort when considering that me or my loved ones will cease existing at death. Religion has, as the saying goes, sold you a bridge. Perhaps the focus on this sense of loss prevents you from fully embracing the now. Perhaps that’s why religion does this...quite a hook, eh?
I had almost the exact opposite reaction when I realized that i was an atheist. It was a huge burden off me to realize there was no need to worry about eternal torment (hell) or boredom (heaven) and to just live my life to the fullest.
Yes it hurts to lose loved ones and realize that you will never be with them again. That is the cost of love that we all have to pay.
I find it very comforting to know that any physical or mental pain will be gone with death.
You can always go back to believing the lies of Christianity.
Right now you are free of the guilt of sin and the fear of Hell.
@Ralph.C
You wish to god? Thought you said you were an atheist? :P
Truth does not have to hurt. I feel incredibly free to make my own life how I see fit w/o all the babbling of this religious crap. I am not trying to please some vague all knowing god idea all my life, in the hopes of getting into "heaven" I am instead enjoying my short life as much as I can, doing what I want to do. And this does not mean I go around taking advantage of other people, I am still very nice to other people? Why? Because I like being nice, I like having people like me, I want to treat others how I would like to be treated.
You can go back to delusion when ever you like. I only recommend you do not push your delusion on others, and be aware that religious/political institutions will take advantage of your delusion. Me personally the atheist (no god) view is a much better and enjoyable one.
Change is scary to be sure, but let me tell you as a long time atheist, I think it is way better than wasting every sunday morning, (or much more for some religions) and possibly much more of your life believing in the unproven and following all the extra rules. And for some people, namely women in some highly patriarchal religions, why they would accept such control and 2nd class citizen status is completely beyond me.
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I have been religious and an atheist / anti-theist for quite a long time now, a couple of 3 or 4 decades. I have never figured out why it is depressing to see a life as over. Even as an atheist I don't know that that is the case.
I came from the universe and I will return to the universe. The atoms in my body came from the stars and they have been shared with the dinosaurs. When I look at the night sky, I am a being who came from all I see. I came from the universe and I simply return from where I came. It's like a drop of water simply returning to the sea to complete the water cycle/ It's a candle flame that brightly burns, shines in the dark for a while, and then vanishes into the world of carbon atoms and energy. Ahh! Life is a process not a thing. I am a process. The universe and all that it contains is a process. Everything swirling and spinning. This reminds me of the picture Starry Night. In the midst of being amazed at the world around me, I just don't see the re-immersion of this process as a negative.
I have to correct that after reading it. It is not even a re-immersion. It is more like a changing of form or a dissipation of form. It's continuing the dance. Just moving on like all things move on. Even the universe itself some day.
Religion is nothing but discrimination. There are 4,000+ gods. If you believe one exists then it doesn't make any sense to not believe that all 4,000+ of them exist unless you discriminate. How sad to think it took you so long to stop discriminating against gods.