Since my neighbor was abducted by aliens 5 years ago, I have been praying that they never come back to abduct me. My neighbor has been abducted 7 times now but the aliens leave my house alone. Jesus is protecting me and prayers work. This is as good of evidence for the effectiveness of prayer as any I have ever heard. With just a little faith and belief, Jesus can protect you from the aliens too.
Subscription Note:
Choosing to subscribe to this topic will automatically register you for email notifications for comments and updates on this thread.
Email notifications will be sent out daily by default unless specified otherwise on your account which you can edit by going to your userpage here and clicking on the subscriptions tab.
I agree, I have prayed every day that I could have a glass of red wine with my meal. And LO! every time I go to the bottle shop, they have red wine! Its a miracle...well not a miracle just a regular answer to my prayers.
Proof indeed ( no pun intended)
oops I lie, the pun was intended.
OMG!!! I did that just last night! Jesus really does answer prayers. Anyone else have a great testimony?
I believe!!!!
It might be that aliens don't like the company of christians. Have any claimed to have been abducted?.........if not, maybe the aliens pray to their particular woo that they don't abduct any jesus freaks?
Maybe they taste bad...or worse are utterly bland.
I have been told that the reason why Jesus did not answer my prayer was because Jesus helps those who help themselves. I have since found that putting strobelighting on the roof of my house means I am abducted by the aliens on a regular basis.
Strobe lighting? How quaintly last century,. I have giant LEDs that spell out "NEXT DOOR" with a picture of an anal probe...its been quite busy there...but I am not sure all the callers are aliens...
Amen. praise jeebus
Every time I pull up at a red light, I pray it will go out and a green light appear. Lo and behold, praise the traffic fairy, my prayers are answered every time.
Hallelujah, Brother David! Your faith is STRONG, my brother! Amen, amen, AMEN! And for all my other brothers and sisters out there, allow me to share my testimony! Each and every day I go to make my tithing at the porcelain throne, and each and every day I pray that the Lord will take my offerings and use them for his will. And, YES, each and every day I press that little lever on the throne and experience the miracle of watching my offerings being taken away by the Lord! And I KNOW He is pleased, for I immediately feel lighter inside and more at ease by His presence! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
@Cognistic: Prove that you even have neighbors!
I visit alot of very different forums. And it seems whenever I make my way to the Atheist ones, it's very common to see jaded, random, and detached postings like this.
Is there a correlation between Atheism and the qualities I described above? This would make for a great research paper.
@Rion
This is a joke thread. I've seen a great deal of christians mocking atheist on YouTube, in church, and on christian forums.
So why don't you "make" for the exit and leave this forum. We don't want your promotion. It's bullshit anyway. You can't prove a god so you peddle word salad and bullshit. Get lost asshole! Fucking moron that thinks he knows something...YAWN! I've seen it before, and it's nothing new!
@Rion Re: "...it's very common to see jaded, random, and detached postings like this. Is there a correlation between Atheism and the qualities I described above?"
Howdy, Rion. How the hell are ya? That little backhand comment was pretty slick. Do you honestly think we are just a bunch of "duds" on here who would not pick up on that? If that is your "A" Game, then I am afraid you are out of your league on this particular site. *chuckle of pity* As for being jaded.... While I cannot speak for others, I freely admit that I am a VERY jaded individual. But, then again, I have earned that jaded view over a lifetime of seeing up close and personal some things you may not even be able to imagine. But that is neither here nor there. And if you happen to see the postings as "detached" or "random", then you are obviously not looking with the proper perspective. And as for your "research paper"?.... Well, how can one write an unbiased report as such when one's view is already pre-determined according to his/her own pre-conceived notions of the topic. *tsk-tsk* Unless you have something to contribute other than tossing out thinly veiled insults, you might want to consider visiting another site, young man.
@Myk Re: Rion The Lion (cub)
Shit, Myk! You got yours in there before I could get mine in. Dammit. "pouty face*
@Rion "I visit alot of very different forums."
Get a life.
Get a job.
Get a sense of humor.
Yes there is a correlation Rion the Lying,
Most of us have been subjected to claims without evidence from random 'woo' sellers, new age prophets, crystal energy practicioners, naturopaths and other assorted necromancers, mediums and television evangelicals.
Most of us are very used to these spurious and unfounded claims, especially the ones that try to fleece money out of people for a grab bag of ill thought out, second rate cliches with a sprinkling of woo sauce. We debunk you one handed whilst picking our teeth.
Many of us are very tired of having to run various snake oil sales men, con men, wack jobs and spivs out of various towns. So if you think you can peddle your third rate smelly shite around us you are sadly mistaken. Get a woo bag, tie up the top and dump it in the trash Its a "no sale".
If you have real, tangible provable evidence of this "creator of all" share it with us...if it takes more than a 14 line paragraph, its a lie.
chimp3 "Prove that you have neighbors."
Well, they are really just a colony of ants, but I pray for them and they seem happy enough.
@Rion The Lion
It's not jaded, random or detached to point out the silliness of a really bad idea. You don't get to call something jaded (tired, bored, or lacking enthusiasm, typically after having had too much of something.) just because you happen to disagree with it.
Besides, I prayed to Jesus before I made the post and he told me it would not only be fine but that it would not be Jaded. He knew you were going to say that! (PROVE ME WRONG!)
I hope to prove that prayer doesn't work by praying that my lottery ticket won't win.
Someone fails to recognize humor, nor the sense of community generated.
This is just one more failed attempt in the category of "since they do not believe in a god, there must be something deeply psychologically wrong with them".
@David K. Re: "since they do not believe in a god, there must be something deeply psychologically wrong with them".
Whoa. Wait.... You mean to imply there is NOT something deeply psychologically wrong with me?...... *deep contemplation for a moment*.... Holy crap! It's a miracle everybody! My prayers worked!
(Now, could somebody please help me take off this funny white "hug myself" jacket? It's been a real bitch typing with my nose all this time.)
@Rion the Lion: "This would make for a great research paper."
LOL! And your photo contains enough material for an entire conference.