Here's an easy proof of the Christian Gospel

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Old man shouts at clouds's picture
Here's an easy proof of the Christian Gospel

How many committed christians would be willing to do this test? How many would pass and if they did pass all of the tests would it prove Jesus?
From Mark:16

14 Later Jesus appeared to the Eleven as they were eating; he rebuked them for their lack of faith and their stubborn refusal to believe those who had seen him after he had risen.
15 He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.
16 Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned.
17And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues;
18 they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well.”
19 After the Lord Jesus had spoken to them, he was taken up into heaven and he sat at the right hand of God.
20 Then the disciples went out and preached everywhere, and the Lord worked with them and confirmed his word by the signs that accompanied it.

I would love to see the likes of AB, Chuck and JoC take this test, oh you can skip the first three tests...just go straight to the poison. Now according to several pastors and theologians Jesus wasn't just talking to the original apostles but it was a message to their converts and there are numerous stories of saints and martyrs casting out devils, drinking poison, bitten by snakes,pierced by arrows etc over the centuries.

So any takers?

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Sushisnake's picture
I can rustle up a couple of

I can rustle up a couple of king browns and taipans to help out, Old Man.

Grinseed's picture
Just out of curiosity, are

Just out of curiosity, are sushisnakes venomous?

mickron88's picture
on the contrary, i think

on the contrary, i think sushisnake is delicious. like gummy bears!.. nom nom nom..!!

Old man shouts at clouds's picture
Having been on the receiving

Having been on the receiving end of a Taipan's bad temper in my youth (fortunately avoided the bite by a record breaking standing leap) yes I think that would be a much better serpent to try them out on rather than the old venomless rattlers some churches seem to prefer!

algebe's picture
One person that tried the

One person that tried the Jesus invulnerability test was King Edmund of East Anglia. When he was captured by invading Danes, he told them that he was protected by the power of Jesus. They asked him if it would stop arrows, and he said yes. So they turned him into a human porcupine. Jesus must have been busy elsewhere that day.

Old man shouts at clouds's picture
Or as the Abbott later

Or as the Abbott later remarked "his faith was not strong enough"

algebe's picture
@Old man..." "his faith was

@Old man..." "his faith was not strong enough"

LOL. There's always an escape clause with this crap.

Tin-Man's picture
Re: "...faith not strong

Re: "...faith not strong enough..."

That reminds me of something...

An old man was sitting on his front porch during a storm when a bus full of people stops in front of his house. The bus driver gets out and tells the old man, "Sir, this area is flooding, and you need to come with me to evacuate to a safe place."

The old man replies, "Thank you, young man, but I am staying here. The Lord will take care of me." The bus driver scratches his head in puzzlement, but leaves the old man.

A few hours later, the old man is looking out his upstairs window when a boat of rescue workers comes floating by almost level with the window. They call out to him, and one of the rescuers tells him, "Sir, the waters will be rising higher. You need to come with us to a safe place."

Again, the old man replies, "Thank you, but my Lord in heaven will take care of me." After a few more attempts to persuade the old man, the rescuers leave.
A short time later the old man is sitting on his roof, with flood waters lapping at his feet. A helicopter hovers over his head, with the pilot on the PA system. "Sir, we are lowering a ladder. Climb up so we can take you to safety!" The old man defiantly shakes his head and holds up a sign for the pilot to see. "The Lord will take care of me!" The man refuses to climb the ladder, and the helicopter finally leaves.

As expected, the waters finally sweep the old man away, and he dies and goes to heaven. Upon reaching St. Peter at the gates, the old man cries out to him in confusion, "I don't understand! My faith was strong in the Lord! Why did he not save me?"

St. Peter looks up at the old man, takes off his glasses, and with a deep sigh says, "Buddy, He sent you a bus. He sent you a boat. THEN, He even sent you a helicopter! What the hell else was He supposed to do?"

Grinseed's picture
LMAO! Thanks Tin, was bright

LMAO! Thanks Tin, was bright start to my day.

Tin-Man's picture
@Grinseed

@Grinseed

Top o' the mornin' to ya! Happy to be of service. *grin*

Galen Rose's picture
"After the Lord Jesus had

"After the Lord Jesus had spoken to them, he was taken up into heaven and he sat at the right hand of God."

This raises an interesting question. If Jesus is god, then Jesus was taken up to heaven and sat at the right hand of himself?

Old man shouts at clouds's picture
Now you are getting into the

Now you are getting into the puzzle of the Trinity...you can tie someone up in knots over that "Three in one, indivisible" except they did divide. Even my very senior Jesuit friend could only quote the party line on that one after many hours of discussion.

Tin-Man's picture
@Galen Re: "...then Jesus

@Galen Re: "...then Jesus was taken up to heaven and sat at the right hand of himself?"

I think nowadays they call it Multiple Personality Disorder. *chuckle*

Cronus's picture
My brother in law has "

My brother in law has " gotten saved" in the last few years. He blathers on and on about how " all things are possible with faith".

Oddly enough, he went to the hospital rather than the church after his recent heart attack.

He gets really miffed when I point this out.

MCDennis's picture
I don't bother to argue about

I don't bother to argue about what the Holy Babble does or does not say. It is irrelevant. Until and unless you provide proof that a god exists, discussing the content of a book that god is said to have authored is meaningless.

Grinseed's picture
And these verses quoted are

And these verses quoted are known to be added to the original text. The oldest copies of the bible from the eastern Mediterranean don't have them. They start appearing in the newer, but still very old, copies from the west ie Rome. The chapter and verse number system wasn't added until the 13 or 14th (?) centuries and it must have peeved some zealots who lost the opportunity to continue lying and editing for their god.

Old man shouts at clouds's picture
I have to take the devil's

I have to take the devil's advocate [position here (always a good exercise)
I think you are missing the point. To a committed believer these are the inerrant divinely inspired words of god. Whether they were added or not is not the point, they had the same divine source.

Therefore if you believe in the Resurrection, The divinity of Lord Jesus etc and preach it and witness to it then you are immune from snakebite, poison etc.

Who will accept that challenge?

Further I will only allow lethal mixes known to be of the time and you can have a "Thoughts and Prayers" unit standing by to administer emergency intercessions , you know, just in case.

Grinseed's picture
No. Not missing the point.

No. Not missing the point. Adding to it. None of it had a divine source, original copied text or added embellishments....which is why and you already know this, you wont have any takers....I did however bring popcorn while we wait...want some?

Old man shouts at clouds's picture
Funny that, these challenges

Funny that, these challenges like the psychics under Lab conditions tend to fall apart.
It must be a lack of true believers hey.

Cognostic's picture
What I like is that this

What I like is that this challenge has already been taken on by Christians and it has failed horribly.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmATcGJ3uJE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoWQmJBIG0o

People are stupid! That's just a fact!

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