My mother always suffered heart attacks that I gave her on a regular basis. Her reaction was ALWAYS
"JESUS H. CHRIST MYKE!"
"Holy Shit Batman"-Robin
Capt. Kirk "Scotty, what's the atmosphere down there?"
Scotty "Captain, we're in a world of shit."
"I don't give a flying fuck at a rolling donut"-Mykcob4
"God-Fucking-Damn!"- anyone that has hit their thumb with a hammer.
Subscription Note:
Choosing to subscribe to this topic will automatically register you for email notifications for comments and updates on this thread.
Email notifications will be sent out daily by default unless specified otherwise on your account which you can edit by going to your userpage here and clicking on the subscriptions tab.
Oh boy!!! This should prove to be fun AND challenging!
Holy fucking shit-farts in a whirlwind! (May take me a bit to get warmed up.)
"You're so stupid you could fuck up a wet dream!" (An oldie but goodie.)
"Son of a motherfuckin' football!" (When I hit my thumb with a hammer.)
Here's a great one from a friend of my wife. About peed my pants laughing so hard first time I heard it.
"Jesus-H-titty-fucking-Christ!"
"That's as wrong as two young boys fucking." (I think I heard that way back in high school.)
Gotta go download some brown files into the porcelain hard-drive. (True, not exactly cussing, but humorous nonetheless.)
"Ghost shit" (aka: fart. Example: Some asshole took a ghost shit in a crowded elevator.)
"Hornier than a Catholic priest at a Boy Scout convention." (Just made up that one.)
Some of my favourites include...
"You fucking muppet!" - To an idiot
"You're not even human, you're a rear breed of cabbage!" - same as above
"Oh bollocks!" - When you forget something
"Agghhh you twat!!!" - When hurting yourself
I love the Irish accent. Especially when it comes to English cuss words.
"Fock"-fuck
"Shite"-shit
"Idjit"-idiot
I also like British slang
Muppet, twit, etc...!
FINALLY! Somebody else vommented! (Vommented??? What the hell is that? I meant "commented") I was beginning to think I was the only crude, rude, cras, illiterate, degenerate potty-mouth on this site! (Other than Myk, of course.)
"Turd burglar" (NOW it's a party!)
Aw, c'mon! Really??? All those folks viewing and nobody else contributing? Don't be shy, people. Jump in and share. Somebody must have at least a FEW good ones to add.
"That boy is dumber than a shit stick." (No idea where that came from.)
"Cum guzzler" (Okay, that's just gross.)
"I wouldn't fuck you with somebody ELSE'S dick." (Good for any occasion.)
Hey, Random, what exactly does "bollocks" mean? "Twat" is funny simply on its own. lol
It's slang for testicles lol
@Randomhero1982
That reminded me of "knackers", another great British slang word for testicles.
Does anyone remember the Singing Nun and "Dominique -nique -nique" back in the 60s? Our French teacher made us learn that shitty ditty off by heart and sing it class. We used to sing along with "Dominique knickers knackers."
We had to sing that in French class too.
I just looked up the Singing Nun. She ended badly. She was more popular than the Beatles and was portrayed in a movie by Debbie Reynolds, but she suffered depression and alcoholism and ended up killing herself with her lesbian lover in 1985.
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2009/apr/28/singing-nun-jeannine-deckers
PMSL, yes that's one used more for when it may be inappropriate... i.e. around kids or grandparents...
Works very much in the same way as 'goolies'
It's essentially the same thing..
One of me most favoritest:
He's as useful as a used tampon.
rmfr
Daaaaaamn....! I have GOT to remember that one, Arakish. Never heard it before. It is hilarious.
"Twerp" is one of my favorites. It's a general term for an annoying idiot, but it was defined by Kurt Vonnegut as someone who farts in the bath and bites the bubbles.
Sheep-shagger: New Zealand slang for an Australian or Australian slang for a New Zealander. Both countries have many, many sheep.
"Ho-ly sheep-shit!" (From "Cheech and Chong's Next Movie". A favorite movie of mine at the ripe old age of 12)
"The best part of you ran down your momma's ass-crack and stained the bed sheets!" (R. Lee Ermey. A grand master of insults in a class all by himself.)
One thing I have to credit my country (england) with is out ability to use language for profanities lol
A few more for you...
These are self explanatory...
"Cock Smuggler"
"Arse Bandit"
Also...
"Are you fucking backwards?!" - To an idiot
"Oh well done numb nuts" - to someone clumsy
"Tosspot' - to someone you dislike
"Wanker" British for masturbation
Whenever my dad was trying to loosen a stuck nut or similar and the wrench/spanner would slip and he'd skin his knuckles, his go to phrase was, "Damn and blast and bugger it!"
My dad used to yell "Damn Damn Damn Damn Bugger Bugger Blast." He said he learned it from his woodwork teacher at school. It's quite poetic when you say it aloud.
Never had French. Did have a bit of Spanish class, though.
"Hijo de puta!" (Typical greeting a buddy and I used to each other in Puerto Rico. lol)
"Que mierda!"
My favorite insult ever comes from Telugu, an Indian language. It goes, "I'll plant a tree in your mother's cunt and fuck your sister in its shade."
As far as just swearing, I like swearing in German. My favorite for something like stubbing your toe is, "Fich die Henne!" Which means fuck a chicken .
"I'll plant a tree in your cunt and fuck your sister in its shade."..... Whoa! That is some heavy shit right there. lol
Wish I could speak German. I always end up hocking up loogies when I try, though.
It's a very harsh language. Quite the opposite of the smooth, almost slurred French that it mixes with to make English.
To compete with Random and represent the good ole USA:
When I was on the drill field I would dress down a private (single him out and verbally berate him) during uniform inspection. My favorite phrase was: "You look like 3 pounds of shit in a 2 pound bag!"
Although it isn't socially acceptable to single out gays and I don't do it a popular phrase to describe a gay man was "He's a fudge packer at Macy's"
Pages