Look what fell out of my vagina this morning!!!
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OH SHIT!!! IT HAS A SISTER!!!
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Clapping hands....our kids!!!!
@White: I guess that means you have to send me child support!
@Cog...happy to do so!
You get the responsibility of diaper changes, feeding, no sleep, barking and hitting (when they fight), teaching, entertaining, friends not relating and/or advice giving, no “alone” time...
How much money do you need? I’ll send some (at first) until I find me another chump, I mean chimp...then have fun “collecting” what I owe...
All that from a chimp, a kitchen table and a lubricated rolling pin?
Ha fucks up any virgin birth shit now dont it?
@Owe????
@Whitefire & Cog
Awwwww.... They're both so adorable! Congratulations! The girl is such a cutie. Looks just like her mommy. Bet she is gonna be one helluva poo-flinger, too... *chuckle*... (Hey, White, just be glad you don't have to be around to clean up after her... lol...) Cog, you may have to keep a close eye on that boy of yours. Don't let him lay around all day licking himself. You of all people should know how unhealthy that can be. Just make sure he gets some exercise now and then. You can teach him how to harass the mailman and chase cars, for instance. Plus, it will be good for father/son bonding.
Oh, hey, what are their names?
@Names??? I'm selling them to the Chinese! Their mother has no interest in supporting them so I'm gonna get what I can out of the situation. Nim Pam, a fine dining establishment has offered me 20 bucks a piece but if I can wait out the Corona scare I can probably double that. In the mean time I can put them to work picking bananas.
Tm... ask Cog - he shot down doG for the girl, something about it being too common and not original enough...
Hey - Cog, you fucking asshole! You’re suppose to let the kiddies know “I love them” regardless (it’s for their benefit) -
I get HALF of whatever you sell them for. Make sure you save me some dinner - Fed Express it...
@Whitefire13: I told them that their mother died in a horrific rolling pin accident while trying to fix them dinner. It's just too horrible to talk about. When they talk about it I start crying and climb to the top of the tree. They have learned to never mention the horrible way you died.
@Whitefire
Oh, no!!! You died??? That's horrible! We should really have stricter rolling pin laws. So, how long before you recover? I've always heard death usually lasts only about three days or so. Get well soon!... *blows a kiss your way*...
@Whitefire: And upon your return you can write a best seller about your NDE and sell it to the idiots out there. You will be rich in no time.
IIIIIII’’’’mmmmmmmm bbbbbaaaaaaccckkkkk
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@Whitefire
Damn! That was quick! How did you manage to bypass the three day roundtrip?
Edit to add: Oh, wait... Nevermind. Just got a closer look at the pic. You decided to skip the reconstruction process, I see.
It took 3 days to remember...
I saw a white light and felt like I was being sucked through a tunnel. I popped out the other end and hit my head on some “gate” with a guy in white standing in front of it. He said something, like, “...to enter I needed to believe in god and accept something into my heart (but after what I did to poor Cog, I wasn’t allowing anything near my heart)”. I tilted my head, big smile - “are you fucking kidding me...fuck off!”
So BOOM - I found myself feeling a little warm. My arms stretched over my head, held in place with handcuffs. This devilish looking guy holding a hot poker. I smile and feel a surge of excitement. The guy stopped dead in his tracks. “Why are you smiling?!?! Don’t you KNOW who I am???? I’m the debbble AND you’re a special assignment!”
“I’ve been preparing for this my whole life!” I said - I love this sorta shit - especially coming from a god-worshipping son-of-a-bitch ... hit me baby!”
Taken a back the debbble says “I’m God’s enemy, you idiot!” “No you’re not. You’re his servant...you even used a big “g””!!!
Frustrated, he made some kind of phone call (I think to the box on the outside of the gate...but my memory is getting hazy)...and I woke up in the kitchen looking like this.
@thread
Chimps, dogs, and babies, it's Tuesday!
Don't forget, TV shows on radio are lazy.
What?
Well.... you know....... everything happens for a reason..... sometimes we just don't understand!! (I gotta find a coconut now and gargle.)