Hey.
Finally had my psych appointment. Didn't really do much. She was mostly just interested in upping my medication, which she did, which means I have barely slept because it gives me insomnia when it's first changed
It's not a good day. I was doing ok emotionally and pretty stable for a couple weeks but hey, guess who is now back to freaking out about st. Catherine Laboures miraculous medal and all her prophesies that came true. This exhausted bastard
I'm so frustrated. Im trying so hard and I'm seeking help but I keep collapsing
Subscription Note:
Choosing to subscribe to this topic will automatically register you for email notifications for comments and updates on this thread.
Email notifications will be sent out daily by default unless specified otherwise on your account which you can edit by going to your userpage here and clicking on the subscriptions tab.
@Mikhael
Unfortunately, your expectations did not match up with reality. The standard practice for many psychiatrists is finding the correct chemical soup that makes you feel better. I was once treated by a psychiatrists for severe depression and all he did was mix and match different prescriptions until I was feeling "better".
Please, this is not the end of the world.
Please Mikhael, avoid doing any research into "miracles" and other shit.
I'm doing my best. I'm looking into a counselor who spexialozes in religious trauma
Mikhael, make frequent visits to this psychiatrist so you can tell her how you 'feel", so she can adjust your medications. In my personal case, it took me approximately six visits and six adjustments on various medications until we found the correct cocktail to sooth my nerves.
My friend, I have been down this painful road, and it is no fun. And I would be a liar if I told you that in a year things will be OK. Sometimes it can take a very long time to heal. But please take hope in the fact that eventually you will get over the trauma religion has caused. It was a long hard road for me but I came out better off that before. I am sure the same outcome awaits you.
And now it's time for something completely different .....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8F9jXYOH2c0&t
I always liked playing soccer, and itbwas one of the only sports o could follow on tv, good and simple
And I will be, I'm seeing her in about 3 weeks. I really need to get settled. I fuck g felt great for a week solid, no issues, then last night it's just like getting strangled
Mikhael it sounds to me like you are making progress. But like anything that is hard, their will be set backs, but overall it seems you are trending in the right direction based on what you write here.
You spent many years of your life making a habit out of obsessing over religious details. You are currently breaking that habit. But if it was easy you would of done it long ago.
I am in no way qualified to talk about medication, but like others have said, it is rare that their is some magic bullet cure all they can give you that works for you on the first visit. Go back for a few more visits and it becomes increasingly likely that they can help you at least some.
Stick with it.
It does take time to find the right meds and then sometimes, over time, readjustments have to be made. It can be frustrating but it will get better.
@ Mikhael
As most everyone has said, it will not be easy to break the conditioning and self doubt of years.
Psychiatrists treat with drugs and will refer you to a psychologist/counsellor when you are stabilised. It can take a while depending on the severity and type of disorder to get the right mix of drugs.
Stick with it, you have come such a long ways since you started this journey on these pages. You will relapse, you will go through tough times, however...you have a support group cheering you on and in Tin Mans case clanking exuberantly to support you on your journey.
Cog, will still fling poo and leap up and down screaming...hey what do you expect? He's a chimp.
@Mikhael
Yo, Kiddo! Chin up! No need to go getting all down and depressed about a little road bump. Just like lunch from Taco Tuesday, "This, too, shall pass." Give yourself some credit for all the great progress you have been making. So you had a small step back... Big whoop. Is it annoying? Sure. Is it inconvenient? Certainly. But is it a game-changing deal-breaker?... Absolutely NOT. Your brain was conditioned to think in a very specific way for a majority of your life. You have only recently started "training" your brain to think/function differently. Considering it's only been a few weeks versus many years, you have actually made great progress. A little setback now and then is to be expected. ESPECIALLY if meds are involved and require balancing. So just grit yer teeth, gnaw on some Twizzlers, consult yer "recoverin' Catholics" support group, and remember yer schoolin' from us misfit heathens here. Even with two steps forward and one step back, you are still making forward progress. That's all that matters.
@Mikhael
I'm mostly a lurker on these boards and don't post much, but I just wanted to pop in as a fellow person who deals with mental illness, medication changes, etc. to say that I feel for you. It sounds like you're in that really tough spot where things start to get better, but then it's super discouraging when it feels like they go back to being worse again, and that can be so scary and discouraging. Then add on medication changes and side effects, and it can all feel exhausting.
I thought I'd share with you a couple of things that other people have said to me when I was in a similar place that were really helpful and impactful for me. Feel free to disregard if it's not helpful for you!
1. You're doing a great job. You've done really hard work in asking for help, going to the psychiatrist, being compliant with meds, and pushing through those side effects. That's something you can be proud of.
2. Improvement doesn't always look like getting gradually better each day. For me, sometimes it looks like having a bad day, then a good day, and then another really bad day. This can feel super discouraging for me because I want to hold on to those good days, but it's actually a huge improvement from when all of my days were bad! Working to improve the average "goodness" of my days, weeks and months helps me to not beat myself up about the bad days.
Wishing you all of the best!