I've been atheist for about a year so far, an agnostic (I thought) before that, a seeker before that, and struggling with Mormonism/Christianity before that. My family and extended family is 95% Mormon. My boss is a Mormon bishop and my co-workers are all Mormon. Welcome to Utah, eh?
I had to keep forcing myself to go to church up until about 10 months ago, just to keep my family off my back. Once I got married, I only went to church maybe once a month for about two months. Almost every week, my family interrogates us about our church attendance, and it's gotten worse and worse. Me and my wife are worried they are going to have a sit-down discussion about it soon. We plan on just telling them "We have been soul-searching" or some vague response rather than completely denouncing their religion.
We would have just lied to them about our attendance, but we are in the same ward region as my grandmother, and she seems to provide weekly reports.
My boss has been talking to me about my progression in the church (jobs/callings), and I've lied to him as much as I can, while keeping my answers short and simple. He has recently been telling me to talk to my ward's bishop about getting ordained as an Elder (rank goes with age), since I'm 3 years older than normal Elders. The problem with this is that I keep telling him I will, and he can track other wards' members' status, since he is a bishop.
Since I don't have an extremely close relationship with my boss, I normally wouldn't care if he knew. Our small business has been having trouble finding work, and he usually keeps me on while laying off others. I wouldn't want this to influence his future decisions during hard times.
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Oh, unindoctrinated, I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. While coming out as atheist is often a positive thing for someone, for others it can be dangerous, financially, emotionally, or physically. Sometimes geographic distance can help. Is moving out of Utah an option for you?
I am currently attending WSU and working toward a pre-optometry degree. That is about 3 years away. At that point I will be joining a military branch to fund my medical schooling. So, not for at least 3 years!
Yeah that sucks, My sister lives out that way and is outspoken about her feeling toward the Mormon religion they do have pretty much the run of the show in some areas of UTAH, no doubt.
The situation with you family can be more of a personal choice about hurt feelings excommunication ect. But your situation with your boss threatens your lively-hood. It sucks your boss has been so nice to you but ask this question, if he knew the truth about you would he have been?Obviously a certain amount honesty means great deal to you and you already feeling the guilt of indirect dishonesty or you would not be in this predicament.
At the end of the day you got to do what makes you sleep well. I don't think you can hold up this front forever and perhaps you should consider moving away or at the very least finding a new job situation to protect yourself from a financial point of view. I to have been pressured to make decisions related to faith of which I had none. I made my choices and they were not always the best ones but in the end of the day I got to be honest,not living a lie, and it did help me sleep better.
Where about do live out there? How old are you? What are your job skills? What are you currently doing for work? and how much are you making? Feel free to click on my profile and shoot me a message if you don't want it in the public forums. No promises but I can try to make a call or two and see if I can find you a job where your lack of Mormon faith will not effect your position. I know at least one person in Utah who has done a lot of work to help people who have been put in tough situations by leaving the Mormon faith usually children.
I appreciate your willingness to directly help me through this :) I feel that I should mention my wife has been extremely supportive throughout this, despite her slightly different beliefs. I would be looking for another job currently if this one wasn't so helpful in considering my career track. If there comes a time when I have no way out of telling my boss, and he reacts negatively (directly or indirectly), I doubt I would have much trouble finding a non-biased employer. What I am worried about is how to tell him in a way that doesn't come off as negative to him.
Again, thank you very much for being so willing to help me out :) I invite messages from you in the future, if not just to talk/discuss.
What keeps you in such a society? I cannot imagine living in such an oppressive culture. I would seriously consider moving. It is a big world and although change/breaking habits is difficult and scarey the relief to your sanity alone makes it worthwhile.
Im sure its his family that keeps him there poor man tough to be stuck between personal freedom and families religion.
I am quite close to my family, although my schooling holds more weight in keeping me here
Find an excuse they would accept and leave asap is my suggestion.
You might make the wrong choice if you are under pressure, it might effect you mentally too.
Trust me, life is worth living, get the most out of it.
Don't let society interrupt your life.
I agree. Thanks :)