Hey everyone. It's me, duh.

Everyone in my house is unemployed now and trying to get on benefits. Whole state is shut down . I'm keeping my shit together best in the house, keeping things clean and organized and trying to keep everyone's spirits up but guys, I'm fufking hurting

I know we all are. I know everyone is going through this shit , but I'm just so exhausted and tired and stressed the fuck out, and not only am I dealing with real world stress but it's causing me to back slide on The Issue. Had my first relapse in like a month today, that heat on my chest and anxiety and terror as out of nowhere I was obsessed again with the story of Lourdes apparitions and just why her story would be constructed as it was of she was delusional or lying. If she was making up the story why didn't she say from the beginning that she was seeing Mary? If she was delusional why did her visions stop? I'm pissed at my anxiety for thinking this is important right now, I'm pissed that I don't have the energy to focus on what is real and important right now and I'm so tired