As a practicing Roman Catholic atheist I attend and participate in mass on a regular basis, yet I have serious doubts that an individual called Yashua bar Yusef, AKA Yoshoa ben Josef AKA Jesus Christ ever existed and have no doubts in the nonexistence of either a spiritual being who created the universe or in the nonexistence of spirit AKA soul for that matter.

Religion emerged in the course of human events after the development of cities as part of the accompanying social hierarchy. Our ancestors carrying over the notion of magic and tradition of shamanism from their foraging, pastoralist and horticulturalist days incorporated these practices into an organized behavioral system. We can see the origins of the institutionalization of a belief system in the success of integrating a "priestly" class into the political system. Hence, as the social scientists Max Weber and Talcott Parsons have pointed out, the religious class had a monopoly on magic to the extent that they could damn an individual by banishing them from the group which in term carried with it the myth that such a disenfranchised individual was going to hell.

The result of this disassociation reveals religion, as opposed to other belief systems, is political in nature in its quest for power. Weber points out that power is seen in the use of physical force or the threat thereof to insure control. The larger society attains its authority through its monopoly on power. Here, religion combined hegemony with the received fictions of popular beliefs to establish a political institution we see as a "creed." Hence, the political pressure to maintain a supportive image and give lip service to the dictates of the larger social order will be great if one wants to maintain a social position within the group.

I maintain my membership in an institution that has a bloody history in large part because it has been an important component of my ethnic identity. Too, my wife as well shares that same ethnic attachment but, she is a believer. In the past, she worried about my lack of belief and even went to our parish priest once with her concerns. His response was that I "was a smart man who had a different connection to God and Jesus," and not to worry about it. My conclusion based on my conversations with our priest, although he couldn't admit it, was that he was "faking" it too.

So, one may ask, how can I maintain a façade of being a devout Roman Catholic when I abhor the Church's position on their attitude toward women's roles, LGBT issues and female choice? How can I in conscious consider the bloody record and duplicity of the Church's history with such disgraceful events as murdering the Cathars, fomenting the Crusades and the inquisition, events I find personally utter repulsive?

I must, like my former parish priest, admit to being more than a little chickenshit in not announcing my beliefs. But, I enjoy my participation in the Mass; it pleases my wife; I have some wonderful friends in the church who, if I ever were to "come out" as an atheist, would still be my friends. and while I don't support those activities the church embraces and belong to the Catholics for Choice, I prefer to remain part of a group and movement within the Church to lead reforms that our current Pope is pursuing. In fact, I once met him and had a wonderful conversation when he was still a Jesuit in Buenos Aires in 1976.

Frankly, deep down inside, I believe he's another one who's "faking" it as well.

Frank P. Araujo, Ph.D.
Sacramento, CA